Review Date: December 06, 2001
Director: Allan A. Goldstein
Writer: Alan Shearman
Producers: Martin Heldmann, Werner Koenig
Leslie Nielsen as Marshall Dix
The film's also too long for its own good, it features a crappy story, an over-the-top score (wa-wa-wooong!), dumb attempts at comedic slapstick, pratfalls galore, lame musical numbers obviously inserted to waste time, bad special effects, outdated uninteresting celebrity impersonations (Madonna, Prince and Hulk Hogan???), a particularly dim-witted & never-ending ending, 10-year old jokes (is "I've fallen and I can't get up" still funny to anyone?) and so many unfunny lines, that I couldn't even begin to remember them all right here ("I got there as fast as a speeding bullet...if you know what I mean."-now is that funny or what??). And as much as you don't want to fault an actor like Leslie Nielsen for this atrocity to the world of comedic film, the man simply has to take the blame for a lot of this, because it was surely his "name" that got this project off the ground in the first place. How he could walk through this role, acting exactly like Lt. Frank Drebin of the Police Squad (from the "funny" NAKED GUN movies), complete with the off-screen narration (but without the laughs), is almost as offensive as the amount of money that he was surely paid to perform in this shit-stick. Listen, I love these "stupid" comedy flicks as much as the next guy (I consider AIRPLANE and TOP SECRET among my favorite comedies of all-time), but this piece of gunk is just that. It doesn't provide any laughs, its idiocy just angers you as it moves along and it sticks plenty of teaser T&A in there for those video rental numbers to increase. Sadly, I'm still a horny man and was turned on by the many g-string ass-shots in the film and even more so, by the lead babe in the movie, one Ophelie Winter, whose hooters are the only reasons that this movie is getting even two points out of the possible ten (Note: there is no nudity in this film...just plenty of teasing!).
This movie has officially been appointed to my all-time shitlist and if this review can change the mind of even one person from ever seeing this movie in their life-time, then I believe that I have truly contributed something worthwhile to society as a whole. Godspeed.