Review Date: April 15, 2005
Director: Andrew Douglas
Writer: Scott Kosar
Producers: Michael Bay, Andrew Form, Brad Fuller
Ryan Reynolds as George
Melissa George as Kathy
Philip Baker Hall as Father McNamara
Of course, if you’re looking for originality…this ain’t the house for you. This film has all of the standard elements found in most other haunted house movies (including its own 1979 doppelganger), doesn’t really bring anything unique to the table, but does offer a ton of “boo scares”, a rapid-fire pace that doesn’t ever allow you to be bored, effective directing, which worked on me a couple of times, and two believable and endearing leads, both of whom kept me going, despite the story being pretty straight-forward. I also liked the fact that Reynolds’ character was somewhat ambiguous as to his intentions/feelings as things creeped forward, and I particularly liked its ending, which despite seemingly leading into only one direction, actually took a left at Albuquerque, and concluded on a semi-surprising note. Oh, and thank you MGM for putting out a horror movie with an R-rating! That’s more like it! The film also offers some pretty nasty scenes of murder, plenty of blood, plenty of F-bombs (yeah, when I’m scared…I said “Fuck that!”, I don’t say “Fudge that!”) and despite no actual T&A, a nice shot of George ass and plenty of shots of Reynolds’ eight-pack. And what an eight-pack it is, let me tell you! Wow. All in all, see it for the lovely leads, see it for a surprising amount of effective “boo scares”, see if it you’re looking for quickie “horror fix” and see it so that you can remind yourself of what an R-rated horror movie looks like.
Also, the film contains two very memorable scenes, one of which has to do with the roof of the house and the other featuring one of the kids “helping” Reynolds chop wood. The best wood-chopping scene ever! And Reynolds…never lose the beard, bro…it works! And you’re right…the goddamn babysitter IS an idiot!!!