Review Date: October 25, 2002
Director: Betty Thomas
Writer: Marianne Wibberley, Cormac Wibberley..
Producers: Mario Kassar, Betty Thomas, Jenno Topping..
Eddie Murphy as Kelly Robinson
Owen Wilson as Alexander Scott
Famke Janssen as Rachel
Owen Wilson, on the other hand, is a "rising star" who by taking on projects such as this and BEHIND ENEMY LINES, seems to be, well...I hate to say it but...selling out? Dude, you obviously know good humor when you see it...what exactly are you doing sleepwalking through this kind of tripe?? (besides the obvious cha-ching factor) Everyone in Hollywood needs to slap themselves in the head and recognize that audiences aren't gonna let gunk like this go by without flipping it the bird (says he as the box-office totals rumble in and turn my argument into dust?) About half an hour into this film, I turned to the guy next to me and said: "I haven't heard an audience this quiet since SCHINDLER'S LIST". The film is just lame. It sets up a moronic "plot" filled with standard evildoers (yes, for mentally-challenged audience members, the "good guys" make sure to call the "bad guys" evildoers at some point), sprinkles in various shoulder-shruggable jokes and uninteresting situations, introduces two unsympathetic lead characters, one of whom is an arrogant jerk with a big mouth, and the other who is a bumbling spy who's about as pussy-whipped as anyone that I've ever met (including the Shootin' Surgeon!) and expect you to care because there's one pretty decent action/chase sequence and a couple of funny moments here and there (the "sewer" scene between Murphy and Wilson was decent).
Ultimately, the film tosses a thoroughly expected "surprise" our way, ends on a plot hole the size of my younger brother's big ass (Murphy miraculously manages to get from one place to another in zero time), spits out dick parts for both Famke Janssen (who, in her defense, does flash us some ass) and Malcolm McDowell (why, Alex...why?) and hopes that people will flock to the theaters because of a shitty trailer and "big" names under the title (sadly, they might). Oh, and did I mention how a film about spies, entitled I SPY and all about the spy game, ultimately features only one cool spy gadget?? What the heck were these goofs thinking? I'm also happy to report that my theory about scripts with more than three screenwriters "sucking" is proven right once again here (it took four brainiacs to put this flaccidity together). This is about as "manufactured" a product (I refuse to call it a film!) that you're likely to see this year. Yeah, I laughed at the "sock" joke and smirked here and there, but mostly I just sat, watched and shook my head at the horror unraveling before me. I SPY is a shit movie...and you can quote me on that! Or better yet, if you liked BAD COMPANY, you'll love I SPY!! I got a million of them...