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You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)
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Review Date: August 13, 2008
Director: Dennis Dugan
Writer: Adam Sandler, Judd Apatow, Robert Smigel
Producers: Adam Sandler, Jack Giarraputo
Actors:
Adam Sandler as Zohan
Emmanuelle Chriqui as Dalia
John Turturro as The Phantom
Plot:
A top-notch Israeli commando decides to follow his dreams and book it over to the States in order to become a hairdresser. After several unsuccessful starts, he finally lands a job at a Palestinian girl’s hair salon, but not before some local Arabs recognize him and begin to plot a scheme to capture him. What follows is plenty of humor regarding the Middle East, super-human powers, an incredible penis and hummus. You dig the Zohan?
Critique:
It felt like it’d been a while since I’d laughed pretty steadily to an Adam Sandler flick (or maybe I just needed one to wash the bad taste out of my mouth after the unfunniness that was I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY), but the first 15 minutes of this film cracked my ass up, especially all of the stuff featuring Sandler as a super-Israeli commando, who could probably do more than Superman himself (love the way he caught those bullets). Things were still pretty humorous as he moved to the States, but the storyline was about as thin as my aging hair, with Sandler acting like a disco-loving, flashy-dressing hair-stylist who can’t seem to escape his terrorist-fighting past (and how is it that his character is not gay??). That said, the screenplay was filled with enough legitimately funny one-liners, visual action gags and Middle-Eastern humor, to keep me smiling despite some of its lesser successful parts, like any scene in which Sandler is cutting people’s hair or even worse, nailing old ladies in salons! And no, I’m not kidding. For reasons unbeknownst to me, the screenwriters (three of the funnier dudes in showbiz) decided to make Sandler a hair-stylist for the geriatric here (why not young hot girls?), and as if that wasn’t enough…they made sure that he had sex with them too (including Mrs. Garrett from TV’s “The Facts of Life”, kids).

I didn’t really “get into” that stuff, or the numerous scenes in which Sandler is either patting his penis or rubbing it up against people, but that aside, I really enjoyed all of the hummus jokes, all of the stuff involving the seemingly endless “war” between the Israelis and Palestinians, and all of Sandler’s super-human tomfoolery. That said, my parents grew up in that area of the world, so I kinda absorbed some of that shit myself, including hummus on the dinner table every now and then (although I can’t say we ever brushed our teeth with it…hilarious!), but suspect that the film might not “play” that well across the board, seeing as there were a number of jokes that were based on habits and words known to folks from that area, but not necessarily everyone else (the same can be said about the aggressive electronics salespeople in NY city…will everyone get those in-jokes?). That said, I cracked up more than I didn’t, and even though the film ended a little weakly (a hacky-sack tournament and an awful cameo by Mariah Carey), I did appreciate the “message” that it brought to the forefront, which was the Rodney King mantra of the century: “Can’t we all just get along?” John Turturro was also fun as The Phantom and Emmanuelle Chriqui is just plain hot, so two more reasons to check the film out. Heck, even Rob Schneider wasn’t terribly annoying here.

All in all, I cracked up during a lot of this movie, and to be honest, I think I probably missed some of the jokes too, since many of the peeps in the film sported accents that were hard to decipher at times. I look forward to watching it again on DVD though, with subtitles on and my pants off! Whatever that means. And hummus all over my nachos, of course.
(c) 2017 Berge Garabedian
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2:01AM on 10/11/2008

Where's BIlly?

Oh god help me. I need to find my Billy Madison DVD and watch it to get that piece of crap out of my mind. Come on Sandler, you've made great movies. What was this?
Oh god help me. I need to find my Billy Madison DVD and watch it to get that piece of crap out of my mind. Come on Sandler, you've made great movies. What was this?
Your Reply:



9:21PM on 10/04/2008

hilarious

i dont understand all the hate,this movie was hilarious and entertaining as well.you just gotta not take it so seriously and just sit back and laugh.
i dont understand all the hate,this movie was hilarious and entertaining as well.you just gotta not take it so seriously and just sit back and laugh.
Your Reply:



3:58AM on 08/14/2008
Arab Jews are everywhere, Like Muslims and Christians. Don't interpret my words in a wrong way. What I said is HUMMUS is an ARAB food (Lebanese to be exact) not Israeli.
Arab Jews are everywhere, Like Muslims and Christians. Don't interpret my words in a wrong way. What I said is HUMMUS is an ARAB food (Lebanese to be exact) not Israeli.
Your Reply:



4:42PM on 08/13/2008

Crap

Besides Operaman and the Hanukkah Song, I have never found his stuff to be very funny. Same shite over and over and over and over and over...
Besides Operaman and the Hanukkah Song, I have never found his stuff to be very funny. Same shite over and over and over and over and over...
Your Reply:



4:32PM on 08/13/2008

To Jaybro7

You're right. But what Arabian_Neo tried to say (again and again) that there were no Jews in the Middle East, they all came from Europe in 1947. That's the thing they prefer to believe in.
And if he wants to be fair what about portraits of Jews in Arab movies? Are those fair?
On a positive side, that hot Jewish girl Emmanuelle Chriqui made zillions horny guys to fall in love with Arab girls! Not bad, right?
You're right. But what Arabian_Neo tried to say (again and again) that there were no Jews in the Middle East, they all came from Europe in 1947. That's the thing they prefer to believe in.
And if he wants to be fair what about portraits of Jews in Arab movies? Are those fair?
On a positive side, that hot Jewish girl Emmanuelle Chriqui made zillions horny guys to fall in love with Arab girls! Not bad, right?
Your Reply:



2:49PM on 08/13/2008

Terrible

This film sucked dead donkey dong. Nuff said.
This film sucked dead donkey dong. Nuff said.
Your Reply:



7:50AM on 08/13/2008

Maybe Im wrong.

Isnt Israel considered the Middle East? If I'm not mistaken, and it is, then the movie doesnt get that wrong. Hummus is considered a middle Eastern food.
Isnt Israel considered the Middle East? If I'm not mistaken, and it is, then the movie doesnt get that wrong. Hummus is considered a middle Eastern food.
Your Reply:



7:45AM on 08/13/2008

Great, fair review.

I foudn it funny as hell. Not a ten, but I would sa your review is right on. When I wasnt laughing, I was at least smiling. To me, thats more than I could ask for going in. The character himself, to me, is very funny and the over the top crazy bad assness they show him do was hilarious. The "freestyle walking" was hilarious and I took that as a way of showing just how this "new sport" has blown up ever since Disctict B-13 made it mainstream.

I too ejoyed the beginning more and Turturro was
I foudn it funny as hell. Not a ten, but I would sa your review is right on. When I wasnt laughing, I was at least smiling. To me, thats more than I could ask for going in. The character himself, to me, is very funny and the over the top crazy bad assness they show him do was hilarious. The "freestyle walking" was hilarious and I took that as a way of showing just how this "new sport" has blown up ever since Disctict B-13 made it mainstream.

I too ejoyed the beginning more and Turturro was funny. The girl was hot. Definitely agree with the review.
Your Reply:



4:32AM on 08/13/2008
I saw the film at a special screening for critics and sencors in Dubai, and it was very offensive. Since when "Hummus" became an Israeli food? we had it for centuries, did the Polish jews cook it in Poland? It's just a VERY inaccurate and offensive movie for Arabs (I am one) and such matters shouldn't be given a comic approach. And definitly not by Adam Sandler.
Arabs are not a laughing stock. But Hollywood seems to not care.
I saw the film at a special screening for critics and sencors in Dubai, and it was very offensive. Since when "Hummus" became an Israeli food? we had it for centuries, did the Polish jews cook it in Poland? It's just a VERY inaccurate and offensive movie for Arabs (I am one) and such matters shouldn't be given a comic approach. And definitly not by Adam Sandler.
Arabs are not a laughing stock. But Hollywood seems to not care.
Your Reply:



1:11AM on 08/13/2008

Really??

I understood completely where Sandler was coming from with mocking the, well, mocking, of Middle Eastern people in post 9/11 society. But this movie was unbeleivably disappointing for me. He used the same shtick throughout the entire film, the same jokes, and his character was just ridiculously one dimensional.
For a Sandler flick that I was so excited for, I could not wait for this movie to be over with. I had alot of "wow, thats so dumb its funny" moments..but nothing I would remember.
I understood completely where Sandler was coming from with mocking the, well, mocking, of Middle Eastern people in post 9/11 society. But this movie was unbeleivably disappointing for me. He used the same shtick throughout the entire film, the same jokes, and his character was just ridiculously one dimensional.
For a Sandler flick that I was so excited for, I could not wait for this movie to be over with. I had alot of "wow, thats so dumb its funny" moments..but nothing I would remember.
Your Reply:



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