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Tomcats (2001)
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Review Date: March 26, 2001
Director: Gregory Poirier
Writer: Gregory Poirier
Producers: Paul Kurta, Tony Ludwig, Alan Riche
Actors:
Jerry O'Connell
Shannon Elizabeth
Jake Busey
Plot:
A bunch of guys make a bet that would score the last remaining bachelor among them a pile of money. When one of the buddies falls into a large debt, he tries to get his last friend married, so that he could win the loot. Hilarity ensues?
Critique:
The funniest scene in this movie involves a man chasing a testicle down hospital hallways...'nuff said! I personally thought that was a funny sequence, but unfortunately the rest of the film doesn't attain that level of "high-brow" humor, with flat jokes for the most part, lame sketch pieces and plot holes the size of my big ass!! Okay, okay, so we don't exactly go to see these movies for the story lines...that's a given. So what about the T&A, you might ask? Nada! What the hell's up with teen T&A flicks nowadays, when the only asses we get to see are those of Jerry O'Connell and not Shannon Elizabeth?! C'mon people...I get enough teasing in my personal life, when I go to see these kinds of movies, I wanna git what's coming to me, for God's sakes!! Alright, alright...I'm gonna calm down now. Harumph, okay back to the movie. Basically, this film is exactly what you'd expect: stupid, mindless and at very few times, funny. Unfortunately, most of the film is lame, with idiotic scenes of guys jerking off in sperm banks, a sweet librarian turning into a S&M mistress (a scene that went on for waaaay too long) and unrelated parody scenes of MI2 and AMERICAN BEAUTY.

And don't bother trying to make sense out of the story, since the filmmakers are more interested in showcasing over-the-top sexual situations which go nowhere, than filling out the gaping holes in the plot line. I mean, they actually try and build up Shannon Elizabeth's character at one point, only to have her disappear for about twenty minutes midway through the film. What the &*#@? Anyway, I might still recommend this sucker extremely reluctantly, but only on video, and even then, only if someone else pays for it, and even then, only if you're drunk! At that point, I think you might enjoy the movie for what it is. Admittedly, I did dig Garry Marshall's small but funny cameo appearance, the energetic opening credits and the outtakes during the credits, which were actually funny for once. And no matter how much I tried, I couldn't help but see the actual fun that Jerry O'Connell was having in this role, and I guess that's gotta count for something, right? Uhhhmmm, then again, it's your money you'd be wasting on this dog, so maybe not. So a quick recap says that there is no actual T or A in this movie, practically no big laughs, a lame story line and lotsa cleavage? I don't know, this movie doesn't try real hard to be much, so I guess maybe I shouldn't try so hard to dissect it so much.

So let's end it on this note: are you ready to spend your hard-earned cash on a film whose high point involves a testicle chase? Well, if your response is a big hearty "yes", then this movie is made for you. If not, skip it and go jerk off instead...you'll feel a whole better, trust me! BTW, what the hell was Bill Maher doing in this thing?? Ugh.
(c) 2016 Berge Garabedian
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