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An Alan Smithee Film: Burn... (1998)
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Review Date: June 12, 1999
Director: Alan Smithee
Writer: Joe Eszterhas
Producers: Ben Myron
Actors:
Ryan O'Neal
Richard Jeni
Eric Idle
Plot:
Token director Alan Smithee steals the only copy of his film "Trio" from the studio, after they complete the "final cut" without him. He threatens to burn the film reel if they do not allow him to keep his vision.
Critique:
Wow. I really can't remember the last time a movie sucked on so many levels! The "comedy" in this film is pathetic, obvious and dated (OJ Simpson jokes galore). The plot is uninteresting, boring and bad. The structure of the film is annoying, repetitive and pretentious. The acting is pretty bad, especially Jackie Chan, who can't act to save his life. The cameos are lame and seem forced, and the ending blows chunks.

All in all, this movie believes itself to be a clever, humorous and edgy look behind the closed doors of Hollywood, but comes across as a boring, stupid and completely unentertaining piece of shite. I love to see movies about Hollywood shenanigans, but this one bites the big one. See it if you like to watch really bad movies, otherwise skip it, because it will just have you hating every star that makes an appearance in it. Luckily for us all, this mess only lasts about 80 minutes, and Miramax honcho Harvey Weinstein plays a lead-faced detective. By the way, is there any reason why the studio or the producer couldn't have cut another version of the film by the way of all the filmed stock that was left over? Who knows, who cares, this "satire" sucks the bag.
(c) 2014 Berge Garabedian
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