Review Date: November 10, 2004
Director: Brett Ratner
Writer: Paul Zbyzsewski, Craig Rosenberg
Producers: Jay Stern, Beau Flynn
Pierce Brosnan as Max
Salma Hayek as Lola
Woody Harrelson as Stan
A world-class diamond thief and his super-sexy-hottie partner pull off one last major job and decide to retire to paradise island and live happily off their earnings. But can a man whose expertise in a field that makes him the envy of all men, including a wanting FBI agent, really ever quit his passion? With Salma Hayek in a bikini on your bed…I see no reason why he can’t. Then again, I’m not Pierce Brosnan and the last experience I had with a diamond included the words “You suck” and “You can’t even afford to buy me a…!”. Well, you get the picture.
Brosnan is Brosnan, the charming, sly, mysterious and all-around semi-boring lead with a 3-day shave intact throughout the entire movie and enough hair on his chest to compete against Robin Williams and Alec Baldwin in the chest-hair Olympics. His chemistry with “lover” Hayek is also entirely absent, but they’re fun to watch “pretending” to be in love, at least. Action-wise, other than the film’s potent opening, there really isn’t much at all, with much of the film focusing on Brosnan’s temptation to steal again and everyone’s attempt to either get him to steal again, or get him not to steal again. That said, I was never really bored throughout the movie, and appreciated many of its more superficial assets including the aforementioned umpteen shots of Ms. Hayek and her wondrous gifts from God, the goofy humor injected by Harrelson, the awesome locales and gorgeous beaches, Pierce Brosnan’s chest-hair and the generally semi-interesting plot-line, which semi-surprised me only once throughout, and even then, not by much (this ain’t David Mamet stuff, folks). Basically, it’s a “cute” date movie or video rental that is likely to be appreciated by most anyone on an aesthetic front, and likely entertain most enough to be satisfied as you walk out of the theater, but not fulfilling enough to restrain in your memory banks for over an hour after the movie is done. Especially after you “do your business” following the viewing. Wow.