This retro trailer for The Canyons gives us little hope for a quality movie

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

When the previous teaser for THE CANYONS was released in October, we were confused by how utterly bad it looked. This new teaser gives us a look at some more footage, this time cut in the style of a 1950s movie.

The result is beyond bad. This is embarrassing for all parties involved. The catchphrase “It’s not The Hills” means they were going for some sort of spoof of the MTV “reality” series, but I think this ended up just being a trainwreck. Bret Easton Ellis and Paul Schrader had respectable movies but this project just desecrates their prior work. This is just pathetic.

Plot: THE CANYONS is a contemporary L.A. noir from director Paul Schrader, writer Bret Easton Ellis, and producer Braxton Pope about the dangers of sexual obsession and ambition, both personally and professionally, among a group of young people in their 20’s and how one chance meeting connected to the past unravels all of their lives, resulting in deceit, paranoia, cruel mind games and ultimately violence.

I thought the trailer for Lindsay Lohan’s LIZ & DICK was bad, but this is now the ultimate low for her career. Once this movie is released, I don’t know if they can even give another movie a Golden Raspberry Award.

Starring Lohan, James Deen, and Amanda Brooks, THE CANYONS will be released “to an Internet server of your choice” in 2013. Wow, shocking they couldn’t even find someone to air it On Demand.