Beyond the Wall: This Week on Game of Thrones (S3 Episode 2 / April 7, 2013)

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

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EPISODE 2: Dark Wings, Dark Words

THE PLOT : The long summer is at an end, winter truly is coming and with it the cold winds of war as five self proclaimed Kings claim dominance over Westeros, but there can be only one winner when you play the game of thrones.

THE LOWDOWN: (The following column contains MAJOR SPOILERS, so I don’t recommend reading this if you haven’t watched this episode). We open with Bran having another dream about the three-eyed raven, only BAM, he’s joined by Jojen Reed (and here’s a “What up” to the voice of Sean Bean). Bran is one of the most underrated characters in the GOT universe, but as his story unfolds he becomes one of the most interesting. Tonight gives us a taste of that by (finally) introducing Jojen and Meera. Jojen, like Bran, is a Warg and tonight Jojen explains to both Bran and the audience what Wargs are—they’re skinchangers who can enter the minds of animals and control them. Ironically, Jon Snow gets to meet one as well in the brief time we visit him. Many fans were worried Jojen and Meera would remain absent the series as in the books it was them who helped Bran escape Winterfell.

It was also nice to see what the Jamie and Brienne have been up to, which isn’t much when you’re laying low. A good deal of time is shared between these characters in the books, but I feel like the show is getting straight to the point. Their bantering and sword fighting were both entertaining, but damn, you guys are getting captured already? Things are going to get really rough for those two now. Rob’s still whining, but we get a great scene with Catelyn and Talisa. Catelyn admits to hating Jon Snow and being a terrible mother to him (she prayed for him to die—damn baby, that’s cold). She feels she’s to blame for all their family’s bad luck. I wouldn’t go that far, but I don’t exactly feel sorry for her either.

We meet up with Tyrion long enough for him to get a BJ, Joffrey show’s us, yet again, that the meaning of foreplay still eludes him—hey baby, wanna shoot my crossbow? Dude, for reals? Theon’s getting tortured, which is awesome because his bitch-ass deserves it. Like I said, we see Jon chatting away with Mance for about two or three minutes before getting the same Warg explanation (from Mance about that geeky little guy with the glass eye in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN) Jojen gives us later on. Now I hoped they were going to be smart about this and do three or four characters per episode, then switch. Tonight was ridiculous. Why bother showing up two or three minutes from two or three characters, with the bulk of the episode being shared by three of four more? Guys, get your shit straight, you don’t need to fit everyone into each episode.

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 3’s second episode still feels like it’s building the story, but it’s hard to enjoy it when we get small bits and flashes from one perspective only to be thrown into the next. An hour is not a long time. I loved the scene with Sansa, Margaery and Olenna Tyrell. Granny Tyrell is hilarious to say the least. I enjoyed her immensely in the books and I’m glad to see she got the treatment she deserved in the show. I was looking forward to seeing Arya tonight (my favorite character), but dammit, all this jumping around left us very little time with her. She got her ass handed to her in a sword fight by a member of The Brotherhood, and then is exposed by the damn Hound for being a Stark. It was a fun night, but with all the jumping it didn’t feel like much happened. That said, what did happen was lots of fun.

SEX/NUDITY: Tyrion gets a BJ. No, it didn’t show it, thank god. Other than that, Margaery’s side boob’s looking pretty awesome.

VIOLENCE: No nipples were injured during the filming of this episode…but Theon’s getting tortured so I was still happy.

SHARPEST QUIP: Nearly everything Jamie Lannister says to Brienne is quote worthy, but when he makes fun of Brienne’s crush on Renly by dropping the gay card I almost fell out of my chair. Jamie: “It’s a shame the throne isn’t made out of cocks, they’d have never gotten him off it.”

MOST EPIC SCENE: I loved the scene with Bran and Jojen chatting it up on the road—the dream was cool too. It’s nice to see details come about with Bran, but Jojen steals the show. On a side note, Meera didn’t exactly say much at all.

FINAL VERDICT :

TELL US WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS EPISODE BELOW!