Awfully Good: Jack Frost 2

December 5th 2012, 2:53am

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

Spike your eggnog! It’s time for a month of Awfully Good holiday movies!

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)

Director: Michael Cooney
Stars: Christopher Allport, Scott MacDonald, Eileen Seeley

The killer snowman is back! And this time he follows his original victims to an island resort in the Bahamas.

JACK FROST 2 had a long way to go to top the 1996 original, mainly due to a lack of snowman sex with Shannon Elizabeth. (No, seriously. Click here to watch the video.) Is it better than the first movie? Probably not. But it’s still a tongue-in-cheek blast!

Sam was about to find out the hard way that Captain Fun was a rapist, not a superhero.

I’m not sure who would or could make a killer snowman movie and take themselves seriously, but thankfully writer/director Michael Cooney knows better. In case the subtitle REVENGE OF THE MUTANT KILLER SNOWMAN (a Calvin and Hobbes nod, perhaps?) didn’t clue you in, this is one of the silliest slashers ever forged. And there’s no better example than taking your icy main character to a tropical setting. Sheriff Sam goes with his family and friends on a vacation to the Caribbean exactly one year after experiencing the horrors of Mr. Frost. Not only does Jack come back to life (someone accidentally spills coffee in to his container of anti-freeze), but he follows them there by swimming across the ocean. How does he know where they are, you ask? Apparently at the end of the last movie, a bit of the injured Sam’s blood got mixed in with Jack’s liquid state and now the two share a psychic connection. Yep.

Jennifer Tong-Eyes > Edward Scissorhands

Even though the effects—both CGI and puppet—are even worse than before, the filmmakers still ratchet up the violence and gore for your amusements. There’s plenty of impaling icicles, killer snowballs, a Looney Tunes-style anvil made of snow and even an iconic scene from A CHRISTMAS STORY reenacted in the worst way possible. Plus, the island resort is home to a bevy of swimsuit models shooting a calendar, which leads to some “sexy” fun. One girl goes skinny dipping in the pool, only to have Jack freeze the water and trap her below. And in perhaps the movie’s most perverted scene, Jack turns himself in to ice so he can be rubbed on a model’s nipples during a photo shoot. This does not end well for the young lady.

Hairless Tribbles were still trouble.

And, somehow, it gets even more ridiculous from there! We’re talking grown men wandering around with Super Soakers filled with anti-freeze (which our hero just happened to bring). Or Jack Frost vomiting up snowballs which hatch in to murderous ice babies—turning the film in to GREMLINS for 15 minutes as the adorable and maniacal little creatures wreak havoc on people’s jugulars. And just like with the first movie, I don’t want to spoil the twist that ends up taking down Jack Frost, but I will say it’s one of the weirdest “deus ex machina” revelations since the end of MARS ATTACKS.

What a snowman glory hole might look like.

Jack Frost ruins a wedding with one of his terrible one-liners. (I also love the little dance he does.)

Some of the best kills and best naked moments. (NSFW)

One of the Asian swimsuit models goes for a skinny dip in the pool.

Love Mr. Freeze in BATMAN AND ROBIN? Buy this movie here!

Take a shot or drink every time: