Awfully Good Movies: The Adventures of Pinocchio (Video)

March 15th 2017, 10:24am

Last Updated on July 31, 2021

The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996)
Director: Steve Barron
Stars: Martin Landau, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Rob Schneider

This weekend, Disney is back once again remaking their animated classics into live-action with Emma Watson in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, so Awfully Good Movies is here to make your wish for another live-action fairy tale movie come true, as we review 1996’s THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO, starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Martin Landau! No, this flick has nothing to do with Disney or Jiminy Cricket or the Blue Fairy, because this version of the classic Pinocchio story from New Line Cinema is meant to be a more accurate adaptation of the original story, with a whole lot more creepiness added to it: a creepy Pinocchio puppet, a creepy CGI wisecracking cricket who makes you miss Jar Jar Binks, a creepy villain played by famously creepy German character actor Udo Kier, and creepiest of all…ROB SCHNEIDER. Yes, if you thought Ultron singing “I’ve Got No Strings” was the scariest thing you’d associate with Pinocchio, and if you thought you had stopped crapping your pants in fear after watching the Roberto Benigni version of PINOCCHIO…be prepared to think again.