The Ten Spot 2/2 - Self Portrayals

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by: Jim Law Oct. 15, 2008

10 Awesome Self-Portrayals

Sorry Bob (above) but that title pic is the only love you'll be getting in this list. As much as I wanted to search through the trillions of cameo appearances by celebrities playing themselves I decided to stick with the meatier roles and free up some time for that bottle of rum whispering at me from across the room. I once wrote a script called OUR HERO specifically for William Katt (the guy who played The Greatest American Hero) where he actually gets super powers similar to the television show but nobody believes him. He ends up turning evil and starts killing everybody until Christopher Reeve reveals that he really is Superman and kicks his ass. My phone calls were not returned. Anyway, enough about my failures, enjoy the list. I'll tell the bottom of the bottle you said hi.

Click here for 10-6

5. Jennifer Tilly - SEED OF CHUCKY (2004)

Jen has never really been more than an annoying voice and great cleavage in the world of Hollywood but you really have to give her some credit here as she spends an entire film making fun of herself while starring alongside three dolls. We get to see her struggling with her weight by sneaking chocolate bars, bitch about Julia Roberts, and reference those boobs of hers more than a few times. Honourable mention to Redman here too.

4. The Beatles - HELP! (1965)

I imagine there was a time when The Beatles could have made anything they wanted to and people would have killed their mothers to see it. This film is no exception. When Ringo can't remove a sacrificial ring from his finger him and his band mates find themselves a target for some Asian cult crazies, mad scientists, and police people. Musical numbers ensue often.

3. Howard Stern - PRIVATE PARTS (1997)

The thing that gets me about this film is Stern's genuine heart-warming performance. Gone is the obnoxious ego, womanizing, and pointless annoyances. He really shows us the man behind the show and his dedication to his wife and co-workers. Is it all an act? Probably, but I'm a sucker for these loser-makes-good movies. Especially when they include a scene with Jenna Jameson getting off on the bass of a speaker. Topless.

2. Neil Patrick Harris - HAROLD AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY (2008)

Playing yourself is one thing. Playing yourself as a complete psychopath is NPH's thing. What started as a cameo in the first film extends here into an epic portrayal of sex-crazed lunacy and drug induced hallucinations. This film is funny as f*ck, people. Believe it.

1. John Malkovich - BEING JOHN MALKOVICH (1999)

The farther along I got in writing this column the more I realized number one isn't even going to be close. John Malkovich is so f*cking brilliant here it's a travesty he didn't get nominated for an Oscar. That scene above, when he enters his own portal, is terribly disturbing, unbelievably funny, and oddly scary all at the same time. And believe me when I say it is literally all Malkovich's doing. Malcatraz rules!

Source: JoBlo

15 discussions Expand all
 
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BobParr
1:25PM on 10/16/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Burt Reynolds - The Player
Burt Reynolds played himself in Robert Altman's "The Player" and did a great job at being a self-absorbed, condescending prick.
Burt Reynolds played himself in Robert Altman's "The Player" and did a great job at being a self-absorbed, condescending prick.
 
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BobParr
1:24PM on 10/16/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Re: Bronco Fan
Was busting balls Bronco Fan. Didn't think you would take it so personally. Just having some fun at your expense.

Jeez....Why so serious?
Was busting balls Bronco Fan. Didn't think you would take it so personally. Just having some fun at your expense.

Jeez....Why so serious?
 
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Maverick027
12:19PM on 10/16/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
I called Malkovich! woohoo!
But Deckard mentioned Roger Moore. I had completely forgotten about him in the first Cannonball Run. His role in that also could've been on this list. Though I guess pretty much the entire cast could have been.

And sue me... I actually enjoy Cannonball Run. :)
But Deckard mentioned Roger Moore. I had completely forgotten about him in the first Cannonball Run. His role in that also could've been on this list. Though I guess pretty much the entire cast could have been.

And sue me... I actually enjoy Cannonball Run. :)
 
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theotherness
6:29AM on 10/16/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
How the hell were The Beatles not #1?

And John Malkovich? YUCK!
How the hell were The Beatles not #1?

And John Malkovich? YUCK!
 
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DeaditeCenobite
8:54PM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Chuck Norris
What about his role in Side Kicks?
What about his role in Side Kicks?
 
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Bronco Fan
6:48PM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
BobParr - I forgot to mention you were the SECOND person to point out the error. READ THE WHOLE THREAD FIRST! The other guy was nice about it.
BobParr - I forgot to mention you were the SECOND person to point out the error. READ THE WHOLE THREAD FIRST! The other guy was nice about it.
 
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Bronco Fan
6:44PM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
BobParr, settle down budy! It's just a fun article. I could care less which part some porn star played as long as we get to see boobies!
BobParr, settle down budy! It's just a fun article. I could care less which part some porn star played as long as we get to see boobies!
 
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Dekard77
3:29PM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
ONE MORE.......................
Roger Moore playing Clouseau after surgory who looks like Roger Moore in Curse Of The Pink Panther.
Roger Moore playing Clouseau after surgory who looks like Roger Moore in Curse Of The Pink Panther.
 
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BobParr
11:58AM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Jenna Jameson - Speaker???
Jim Law, you need to really bone up on your movie facts. You had the Morris Day quote wrong in list 1/2. Now you have it wrong about Jenna Jameson in "Private Parts". Jameson played the first nude woman in radio when she offered to give Stern a massage on the floor of his studio while she was in the buff.

The woman getting off on the speaker was some no-named actress.
<...
Jim Law, you need to really bone up on your movie facts. You had the Morris Day quote wrong in list 1/2. Now you have it wrong about Jenna Jameson in "Private Parts". Jameson played the first nude woman in radio when she offered to give Stern a massage on the floor of his studio while she was in the buff.

The woman getting off on the speaker was some no-named actress.

Please get your information straight before you write your articles. Thank you.
 
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HoyleHaw
9:13AM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
MALKOVICH!!!
I love that movie more than any other Kaufman-penned film. When I first saw it I couldn't stop laughing it was so different from anything else. And that's definitely in large part to the title character.
I love that movie more than any other Kaufman-penned film. When I first saw it I couldn't stop laughing it was so different from anything else. And that's definitely in large part to the title character.
 
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Vlad99
9:05AM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Awesome List!
Stern & Malkovich are tops on mine!
Stern & Malkovich are tops on mine!
 
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roro0
8:55AM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
HONOURABLE MENTION
JCVD
you should have mentioned something about the man himself, JEAN CLAUDE!!!
Other than that it's a kool list
JCVD
you should have mentioned something about the man himself, JEAN CLAUDE!!!
Other than that it's a kool list
 
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snoopmish
8:28AM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Good list but..HEY! I love "Help".
Good list but..HEY! I love "Help".
 
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Nutz
8:14AM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Not bad
... but I thought Chuck Norris may have got a mention from Dodge Ball, funniest bit of the film.
... but I thought Chuck Norris may have got a mention from Dodge Ball, funniest bit of the film.
 
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Disillusion Ed
7:50AM on 10/15/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
NOT JENNA
The woman who gets off on the speaker is not Jenna Jameson. JJ appears later in the film as the, "First naked woman in the history of radio."
The woman who gets off on the speaker is not Jenna Jameson. JJ appears later in the film as the, "First naked woman in the history of radio."