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The Ten Spot 2/2 - Strippers Jun. 17, 2009
Comments: 14
88%
\"\"

My 10 Favourite Movie Strippers

Jessica Alba was not a stripper in SIN CITY. All she did was twirl a rope around and dance. Strippers a) take their clothes off and b) usually do some magic tricks involving a pole of some sort. If I went into Alba's strip club I would have been escorted out for throwing bottles at the stage and yelling "TAKE IT OFF! TAKE ANYTHING OFF! AND WHY IS BRUCE WILLIS HERE?" The only nudie bars worse than that one was the one in FLASHDANCE ($7 a beer to watch choreographed music videos live. Fuck off.) and the Titty Twister in FROM DUSK 'TIL DAWN (don't get topless and then try to eat me. Fuck off). Those rules above were the only criteria I needed to dive face first into this bitch. Let's get naked.

Honourable Mention: Hawk - DETROIT ROCK CITY (1999)

There's no way this scene could be any funnier. In fact, if they ended it after Hawk fills the pitcher up with puke I'd still give him a shout out here. I swear to God, one day I'm going to get to my favourite puke scenes in one of these columns. It's almost as funny as farting (note: start working on fart Ten Spot also).

10. Barb Wire - BARB WIRE (1996)

I think the only stripping she does in the film is the opening credits. That was enough for me. The water was a nice touch. It took your mind off the fact that you've seen this woman naked more than you've seen yourself naked and added some excitement to this, the most believable scene in the film. This should have lasted an hour and twenty-eight minutes and then had her shoot somebody. That's a way better film.

9. Cherry Darling - PLANET TERROR (2007)

Well before she could blow shit up with her leg, Cherry took to the stage like a lady-tiger in heat. She'd be way higher if I could get over how sculpted her face is. I'm not saying she's ugly or anything but when having your leg replaced with a machine gun is the second biggest operation you've ever had, it's time to step away from the knife. Or at least stop face-slamming it.

8. Cassidy - THE WRESTLER (2008)

Big points here for being 44 years-old when this movie came out. If I walked into a strip club around here you could spot the 44 year-old dancer within two seconds. She's usually standing alone by the bar, snorting coke off the fries she ordered and yelling at her kids to get out of the DJ booth. Marisa brings the hot here though and gives all thirty-something men hope that they can find someone like her when their wives leave them within ten years.

7. Kat - ZOMBIE STRIPPERS (2008)

She may be dead for more than half the movie but that doesn't stop Jenna Jameson from getting naked. The moments she's on stage are, literally, the only scenes worth watching in this wretched film (I've watched it twice). By the time she starts shooting pool-balls out of her poot-poot you begin to remember why you rented (bought) this.

6. Christina - EXOTICA (1994)

The little school-girl outfit has never looked better. There's waaaaaaaay too much plot going on in this film, taking away much needed screen time from Mia Kirshner and her unique stage presence. The only way that scene above (bottom pic) could be any better was if she started talking out of her ass like Ace Ventura. I don't know why, but that would be awesome to me.

5. Serendipity - DOGMA (1999)

Salma stripping has the potential to make the top five of any list I do (watch for her in the puking entry). This scene is made better by the following facts - 1) New Edition busting some 'Candy Girl' to boogie with. 2) She doesn't turn into a vampire. 3) The scene is almost immediately followed up with a giant poop monster. It's like Kevin Smith lives in my brain.

4. Rose Johnny - POWDER BLUE (2009)

I haven't even seen this film, the trailer was enough. Jessica Biel is at another level within my hottie-meter right now and it's a travesty that I can't think up one good reason to tell my wife I need to rent this. "Jessica Biel gets naked" hasn't worked like I thought it would. Next week I'm just going to get it and I'll tell her I thought it was the movie about the albino dude.

3. Helen Tasker - TRUE LIES (1994)

She's not officially a stripper but moves better than your average porn star in the bedroom. I wonder if my wife would ever do something like this to save my life. Actually, I wonder if my wife does this every time she goes out with her friends and comes home with her dress ripped in half and slicked hair. This happens every other weekend.

2. Alice - CLOSER (2004)

If there was nudity involved here this would have been no contest. Still though, getting to see Mathilda all growns up and locked and loaded with a thong was enough to make me stop breathing for ten minutes. I just wish Clive Owen would shut the hell up for a few seconds so I can concentrate. I don't know why but the pink wig moved her up a couple spots too.

1. Erin Grant - STRIPTEASE (1996)

When I started this list out I had no intention of putting her at number one. As things started to thin out though I began to notice how fraking hot Demi Moore was in this film and just how nude she was throughout. There were no dimly lit sets, body doubles, or quick cuts - it was just her and those hardcore breasts right in your face for most of the film (I edited my version and cut out all other plot devices). Good for her. And me.

Extra Tidbit: The strip club I went to in Montreal with Arrow & Moreno featured a girl who was 6'5".

PREVIOUSLY:

10 Awkward Movie Blow-Jobs
10 Costume Suggestions
10 Fictional Towns I'd Like To Move To
10 Reasons I Never Pick Up Hitchhikers
12 Great Moments in Unorganized Sports
My 10 Favorite Elevator Scenes
10 Fun-Filled Prison Riots
Hotties vs. Geeks II
10 Awesome Ex-Cops
10 Awesome Movie Pool Parties

The Ten Spot... archives here

Latest Comments

14 Discussions (Expand All) | Show: Oldest First | Newest First | Most Popular

+0
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PuffCity
6:48PM on 06/18/2009
I love Demi at no1, its my favorite childhood movie


and OrangeRush2112: it is, go to any LUSH store
I love Demi at no1, its my favorite childhood movie


and OrangeRush2112: it is, go to any LUSH store
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ANTI
8:53PM on 06/17/2009
There was nothing sexy about Demi in Striptease at all.

I would have gone with Dina Waters instead.
There was nothing sexy about Demi in Striptease at all.

I would have gone with Dina Waters instead.
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OrangeRush 2112
5:23PM on 06/17/2009
stripper smell needs to be bottled
stripper smell needs to be bottled
-1
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The Fire Duece
4:17PM on 06/17/2009
why did you put a dude on the list!

no thanks jamie lee curtis, put your baby dick away!
why did you put a dude on the list!

no thanks jamie lee curtis, put your baby dick away!
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...
JoeyTomatoes
3:38PM on 06/17/2009
What???? As I was scrolling down I was fully expecting to see Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek), From Dusk Till Dawn, in the number 1 spot. She hands down put any other performances on this list to shame. Including ...
What???? As I was scrolling down I was fully expecting to see Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek), From Dusk Till Dawn, in the number 1 spot. She hands down put any other performances on this list to shame. Including what she did in Dogma.
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sbunn10
2:41PM on 06/17/2009
Pretty good list, but Demi Moore's fake fake fake boobs are just not great to me at all.
Pretty good list, but Demi Moore's fake fake fake boobs are just not great to me at all.
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annihilist
2:02PM on 06/17/2009
no love for The Full Monty? Granted, they were guys, but they were cool guys. And it was funny. Deserves at least an honorable mention.
no love for The Full Monty? Granted, they were guys, but they were cool guys. And it was funny. Deserves at least an honorable mention.
+0
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Great list...
Crimson_Kahuna
1:06PM on 06/17/2009
... as for the Extra Tidbit, giant amazon strippers are the greatest!
... as for the Extra Tidbit, giant amazon strippers are the greatest!
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Big Bri
12:44PM on 06/17/2009
New Yorke got it right that this list should have had E. Berkley getting top billing. Way to pull one out New Yorke! I really hope you find a job on that reality show of yours.

Jamie in "True Lies"...h...
New Yorke got it right that this list should have had E. Berkley getting top billing. Way to pull one out New Yorke! I really hope you find a job on that reality show of yours.

Jamie in "True Lies"...how do you resolve the conflict between that body and that face? The scene would have been much better if she had been wearing a Michael Myers mask or something. Hey maybe that will be in the new Rob Zombie flick. Hmmmm?
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Great list Jim!
ElderPredator
11:03AM on 06/17/2009
A superb list for sure and great work!

I was worried that Jamie would be left out as her dance in "True Lies" is one of the hottest scenes I've ever witnessed. That girl has a slammin' body and knew how...
A superb list for sure and great work!

I was worried that Jamie would be left out as her dance in "True Lies" is one of the hottest scenes I've ever witnessed. That girl has a slammin' body and knew how to use it.

And dear god, please dump Sean Penn's old ass and marry me Natalie.
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Hmm.
NewYorke
10:11AM on 06/17/2009
SERIOUSLY!? No Elizabeth "Jessie Spano" Berkley? Showgirls had LOTS of good stripping in it. It should at LEAST knock off Cherry Darling. All she did was dance. Now that I'm confident I've proven my pervertedness...
SERIOUSLY!? No Elizabeth "Jessie Spano" Berkley? Showgirls had LOTS of good stripping in it. It should at LEAST knock off Cherry Darling. All she did was dance. Now that I'm confident I've proven my pervertedness, I shall go and watch Closer again.
Show Full Comment
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razgriz21
10:07AM on 06/17/2009
Nice list but I would have ranked Rose McGowan and Marisa Tomei higher. They blow my mind the most along with Mia Kirshner.
Nice list but I would have ranked Rose McGowan and Marisa Tomei higher. They blow my mind the most along with Mia Kirshner.
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smacaskill
8:53AM on 06/17/2009
I agree. I never found Curtis to be all that hot, but she sure knows how to move her body.
I agree. I never found Curtis to be all that hot, but she sure knows how to move her body.
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good call
reddwarffan
7:59AM on 06/17/2009
I remember seeing True Lies the first and saying "DAM", Jamie Lee was and is so freaking hot!
I remember seeing True Lies the first and saying "DAM", Jamie Lee was and is so freaking hot!
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