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Uma's Mission Apr. 23, 2007
Source: Pirelli Film
by: Ben Barna

Don’t ask me what I was doing on Allocine.fr, a French movie site, but that’s where I came across an ad for a movie called MISSION ZERO, which to my surprise stars Uma Thurman and is directed by POINT BREAK helmer Kathryn Bigelow, who I know from my days as an extra on K-19: THE WIDOWMAKER.

Perplexed that a big actioner starring Uma Thurman went undetected by my upcoming movie radar, I immediately sensed foul play, whipped out my trusty magnifying glass, and decided to go on a private investigation rampage. I hopped into a cab and headed over to imdb.com to check out Uma Thurman’s upcoming filmography. Nothing. Next, I went to Ms. Bigelow’s filmography and did indeed see MISSION ZERO, so I clicked it. It was suspiciously desolate, but being the superior detective that I am, I gathered two clues: Uma Thurman is starring as ‘herself’ and the film’s running time is eight minutes.

Puzzled, I decided to return to the scene of the crime and click on the baffling ad itself. It took me to a mysterious website called Pirelli Film where I was given the option to ‘view the film.’ View the film? You mean all I had to do was click on the ad in the first place and I could just ‘view the film?’ Why didn’t the ad just say so? Needless to say I viewed the film, and the clues I gathered were right: it is 8 minutes and Uma Thurman does star as herself. Are you also curious about what MISSION ZERO is? Don’t waste your time solving the non-existent mystery like I did, and just click HERE to ‘view the film’.

Extra Tidbit: The Cinematographer on this film is Janusz Kaminski, Steven Spielberg's go-to guy since SCHINDLER'S LIST.

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Viewing 1-4 of 4 User Comments
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DevilsRejects on Apr 23 2007, 3:23:28 PM writes:

That was fairly random, but kinda entertaining, too. That woman is awesome.
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GroundlessNFree on Apr 23 2007, 3:26:22 AM writes:

After clicking "view the film" a record number of times, I finally watched it in Quicktime and used the scroller to reduce the films running time to about 12 seconds. Funny that I didn't make the connection while reading your article, but as soon as I hit the site I found myself wondering exactly how a company known for pin-up calendars and tires get's into the film business. It's like everyone is still trying to cash in on an idea BMW had years ago.
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yakobusan on Apr 23 2007, 3:22:13 AM writes:
NOT GOOD
I tell you why you didn't hear about it:
Because it's bad!
The BMW films are way better.
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JasonAdams on Apr 23 2007, 1:37:55 AM writes:

Apparently all those people chasing her saw MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND.
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Viewing 1-4 of 4 User Comments
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