Don’t worry, JOE maniacs — Lady Jaye won’t be eating fluffy waffles with Van Damme. Hasbro has turned the hose on that blazing rumor with an official announcement at their site: “The G.I. Joe team will not be based in Brussels. Instead, they will be based out of the “Pit” as they were throughout the 1980s comic book series.”
And just in case you feared that the team’s leader might now be some kind of sissy or pinko, that’s not a matter of concern either: “Duke, the lead character and head of the G.I. Joe team, will embody the values of bravery and heroism that the first generation of G.I. Joe figures established.” That should also mean he’s got a pretty serious grip.
So although the faces may be different (they’re not hand-drawn this time), the general premise remains the same: “This movie will be a modern telling of the “G.I. Joe vs. Cobra” storyline and its compelling characters that Hasbro created 25 years ago.” While it’s unlikely they’ll be shooting color-coded lasers that never hit anyone, at least it should feel like the G.I. JOE familiar to most. Now let’s just hope director Stephen Sommers left his catastrophic VAN HELSING style of exorbitance in Eastern Europe.