Arrow Says! Five horror films to watch on Valentine's Day!

Arrow Says! Five horror films to watch on Valentine’s Day!

February 13th 2014, 3:24pm

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

Valentine’s Day is upon us tomorrow! Some of us will be having romantic times with a better half, others will be having romantic times with their right or left hand, all depending which way one goes. On that, just like any other f*cking Holiday, it’s nothing a good horror flick can’t complement. So allow me to share with you 5 HORROR FILMS that always make my Valentine’s Day better whether I am single or in a relationship! Feel free to share you own Valentine’s Day horror picks with us via the comment section below! I love to love bitches!

3- My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

Duder returns home 22 years after a V-Day massacre and he winds up being the prime suspect when the killings start happening again! For pure V-Day fun times you can’t go wrong with Patrick Lussier’s and Todd farmer’s MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D! The flick is a slashercoaster ride made for true fans of the subgenre! It’s easy on the eyes, paced like a motherf*cker and filled to the brim with creative/ brutal kills and unabashed nakedness, this one did the trick. Oh and it has cool-cat Jensen Ackles aka Dean from Supernatural as the lead in it! All good!

2- Near Dark (1987)

Boy hits on girl, girl bites boy, surprise, she’s a vampire and now he has to deal with her murderous family and his own transformation into a creature of the night! And how was your weekend!? Near Dark is a work of pure genius; minimalist in its dialogue, yet it communicates all we need to know about the vampire outlaws and the tragic lovers bound by blood by way of gripping situations. The picture is incredibly poetic via its visual panache, while at the same time being layered through its themes of family, immortality and of course true love. F*ck Twilight! This is the REAL VAMP LOVE DEAL!

1- Lost Highway (1997)

Fred’s cheating hottie of a wife gets hacked into little pieces and he gets blamed for it by the law. And that’s not saying anything about the plot of this crazy movie! Jealousy and love often go hand in hand and Lost Highway is all about that jive. This is still to this day my favorite David Lynch movie! To me, this brain-draining maze is about the somber emotions that feed jealousy, repressed negative feelings bubbling to the surface, not being able to cope with one’s ugly actions, second chances and the set patterns we all fall into. It’s about unhealthy love and lust. Yeehaw! Happy Valentine’s Day!

4- Haute Tension (2004)

Psycho kills girl’s family and kidnaps her. Girl’s friend (who happens to be in love with her) goes after them. Alexandre Aja’s Haute Tension got its severed head and ate it too– working overtime on two levels. One being a daring slash-athon with a slew of suspense-fueled scenes, the other being something a little deeper and definitely damn clever. Love means you’ll go through hell for your loved one, the lead gal here goes through it and then some and so will your mate when you sit him/her down and force them to clock this bad girl! LOVE HURTS!

5- My Bloody Valentine (1981)

A killer in a miner suit likes to celebrate Valentine’s Day by axing lovers! We all have our hobbies. I finally got to see the unrated version of this one (only way to see it BTW) and it has since become a favorite! Granted it’s a standard slasher flick but with a V -Day motif tagged to its ass and minus tit shots (wha?!?). The story is thin, the killer is peeved, yes there’s that old guy that warns everybody and the main reason to see this movie is to watch people die in grisly ways. But hey, last I checked, nothing wrong with that!