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Top 10 Killer Crocodile Movies!

Okay now, so who’s seeing Alexandre Aja’s CRAWL in theaters this week? I know it’s been awhile since Aja helmed a decent horror joint in HORNS, but come on, there’s something too compelling about his high-concept-killer-crocodile-hurricane flick to miss this summertime. Shite looks like good ol’ B-movie creature-feature fun!

If you’re on the fence, allow us to jog your memory as to how much of a scary good time these killer alligator/crocodile flicks can be. From the hilariously campy to the horrifyingly credible, here are our Top 10 Favorite Killer Alligator/Crocodile Movies!

#10. CROCODILE (2000) – Just a few weeks back we boldly stood up for what Tobe Hooper’s unabashedly trashy direct-to-video CROCODILE – a movie that, while among the lower rungs of his illustrious filmography, is actually much more gory, violent and overall fun than people give it credit for. While cheaply made and poorly acted, the great thing about this flick is the sheer amount of killer-croc-action and exorbitant death toll as the prehistoric beast named Flat Dog chews, chomps, marauds and masticates every damn annoying human in its predatory path. A fall from grace in the eyes of many, CROCODILE is minor-key Hooper having a damn good time! GET HERE

#9. ALLIGATOR (1979) – Also known as THE BIG ALLIGATOR RIVER, I’m willing to be most of y’all have never even heard of, much less seen, Giallo master Sergio Martino’s 1979 Italian horror flick ALLIGATOR. But you should! Shot in Sri Lanka, the film is set in Africa as a tourism resort is overrun by a giant man-eating crocodile. The locals deem the beast some kind of ancient god native to the land, and after awhile, begin to hunt down the tourists just as the croc hunts down anything with a goddamn pulse. An obvious JAWS ape-job, Martino shows little restraint with his savagely sickening killer-croc attacks! GET HERE

#8. KILLER CROCODILE (1989) - From one Italian import to another! Shot in the Dominican Republic under the direction of Fabrizio de Angelis, KILLER CROCODILE follows a legion of environmentalists dedicated to cleaning up a toxic tropical waterway. One problem. A massive flesh-munching Croc dwells in said waters and with its jarringly jagged teeth and scaly Lochness Monster appearance, intent to murder and mandicate any poor bastard that dare get in its way. As another bald JAWS knockoff that celebrates its 30th anniversary this July, KILLER CROCODILE is a whole lot of bloody fun. Also, look out for the sequel, KILLER CROCODILE II, which was filmed simultaneously with the original.

#7. PRIMEVAL (2007) – Okay, so PRIMEVAL is a pretty silly movie, but that primary antagonist of the film – a pissed-off supercharged killer croc – is no laughing matter whatsoever. No, not the TV series of the same name and year, we mean the exotic South African-set action/adventure flick starring Dominic Purcell and Orlando Jones. While a whole roster of prehistoric beasties are featured in opposition to humanity, it’s no doubt Gustave, the 18-foot, one-ton man-eating monster that served as the basis of the 2004 documentary Capturing the Killer Croc. The abnormally sized beastie was last spotted in the Central African Ruzizi River in 2009! GET HERE

#6. DARK AGE (1987) – We’re betting dollars to dead bodies that very few of y’all of seen much less heard about the unheralded Aussie creature-feature DARK AGE, yes, starring WOLF CREEK baddie John Jarrat. This movie rocks! Keeping with the basic plot of this entire list of films, the action kicks off in the Aussie outback when a giant crocodile begins swallowing the local human population. Here’s the kicker though. While hunting the killer-croc, one of the tour guides develops an ESP connection with the primordial predator and uses this link to defeat the ferocious foe. As ridiculous as it is visceral, DARK AGE is a rarely seen but above average killer-croc JAWS cribbing that was finally released in its native country 14 years after being made. A rare species indeed! GET HERE

#5. LAKE PLACID (1999) – Made 20 years ago for a pricey $35 million, LAKE PLACID is easily the biggest, dumbest, loudest, and perhaps most enjoyable of all killer-croc blockbusters to date. With the tone as cheeky as the imagery is freaky, the overtly humorous bent makes the sillier FX-driven spectacles much easier to forgive than a movie that lacks the self-awareness to poke fun at itself. This movie knows exactly what it is and has a goddamn blast pandering to expectations. When a monstrous crocodile begins slurping people up from Black Lake, Maine, a ragtag assembly of antiheros led by Bill Pullman and Oliver Platt must unite and fight for the f*cking lives. Pure mindless bliss! GET HERE

#4. BLACK WATER (2007) – The great thing about the little-known Aussie chiller BLACK WATER is that it attempts its subject matter with an authentic verve most of its ilk eschew in favor of exploitative action. The low-budget indie helmed by Andrew Traucki and David Nerlich follows a vacationing family touring the Blackwater Berry tour in the south Aussie mangroves. The idyllic sightseeing trip turns terrifying when a gargantuan crocodile capsizes the family’s tour boat and proceeds to methodically hunt, maim and imbibe each individual. The surviving family must make it safely to land, despite their boat flipping over with the voracious monster lurking in the water beneath. Truly terrifying! GET HERE

#3. ROGUE (2007) – We still maintain that ROGUE largely suffered from the grand expectations Greg McLean left us with after the bone-clattering WOLF CREEK. Why else has a movie this entertaining, gorgeously shot and scintillatingly suspenseful flown so far under the radar. I mean, hell, that f*cker from AVATAR is in it, so you’d think ROGUE would have more fans. What I love about the movie is how scarcely McLean shows the humongous crocodile in full, only giving us hints through corner-of-the-frame suggestion – a splash of water here, a tail-whip there, etc. But then, when it comes time to scare the piss out of the main characters, and by proxy the audience, McLean goes the way of JAWS and gives us a gnarly-ass sight to behold in the croc’s dark and dingy lair. GET HERE

#2. ALLIGATOR (1980) – In the 80s, Lewis Teague sort of cornered the market on killer-animal horror flicks. Three years before trying to tame Stephen King’s CUJO, Teague all but won the job with his sewer-set creature-feature ALLIGATOR, which easily holds serve as one of the all time best killer-croc horror flicks. Seriously, this movie kicks major f*cking ass! One of the reasons it does is due to the credible script by PIRANHA’S John Sayles. The others have to do with the deft blend of practical gators and a large mechanical animatronic replica, which often malfunctioned so terribly that Teague was forced to shoot around the creature in order to mount suspense. JAWS strikes again! Dubbed Ramon, the animatronic was donated to the Florida Gators, where he made several appearances as the team mascot!

#1. EATEN ALIVE (1977) – Bookending this here litany is the late great Tobe Hooper, who, with two entries on the list, must be considered the foremost authority on all things killer-gator! And while EATEN ALIVE is so much more than just a killer-croc thriller, the mere sight of Bobby “My name is Buck and I’m here to F*ck” Englund getting deservingly digested by the slavering maw of swamp-dwelling pet gator held on the side of a sleazy motel porch is too glorious to avoid in the top spot. Honestly, this movie is pure horror gold! Neville Brand plays a homicidal hotelier who runs a foul bayou brothel, murdering any untoward customer with a giant scythe blade before feeding their remains to his vicious pet gator in the swamp out front. The most unnerving aspect? The story was based on the real life case of Joe Ball, a Texas barman who allegedly fed females to his pet gator. When he was about to be questioned for the murders by police, Ball killed himself! GET HERE

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