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Cemetery Man (Dellamorte Dellamore)(1994)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Michele Soavi

Rupert Everett/Francesco
François Hadji-Lazaro/Gnaghi
Anna Falchi/She
10 10
Graveyard keeper Francesco Dellamorte (Everett) falls in love, ponders life, reflects on death and mows down a lot of dead people who return after being buried with his trusted six shooter. What's going on here? Ask Dellamorte yo!

The Living Dead and the dying living are all the same. Cut from the same cloth. - Francesco Dellamorte

Well its about damn time! I don't know why it took so long but DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE aka CEMETERY MAN is finally out on DVD via the fine folks at Anchor Bay and nobody is happier than the twat behind this keyboard. I remember first seeing Michele Soavi's masterpiece at a repertory theatre in 96 and what an experience it was! I was blown away! I'm happy to report that watching the film today still whopped me to silly-willy land!

Cemetery Man is one of those left field films that takes countless viewings to fully get. To be honest I've seen it a few times and still don't fully grasp what the film is going on about in some places. The symbolism occasionally left me in the dust begging for my Mommy to explain it to me (like why does he keep meeting the same girl)! But that's not to say that I didn't dig being challenged and couldn't groove to the hand it played my way anyways. Which hand was that? The full house baby! Thought provokingly existential, somewhat whimsical, deliciously cynical and filled with endearing bleak humor & out of line violence (loved the Hotel inferno), Cemetery Man made for a full munch down! Brilliantly written, with thought provoking and poetic dialogue, I so warmed up to the many statements on love and death (synonyms?) that the film put out. As the clock moved forward both themes compellingly became closer and closer in "make" to pretty much become one in the end. Genius!

Now that's not to say that the flick was all about "Deep thoughts by Jack Handy" soliloquies! We also get bombarded with all kinds of Zombie action, sometimes conveyed in a tongue in cheek manner , others times played straight. The gore was plentiful and graphic as well while the polished Gothic imagery at hand made me want to take a dirt nap in a Graveyard next to Marylyn Monroe's corpse. Umm...that means it was good! Visually; color me blue and call me Papa Smurf, Soavi outdid himself here! The flick did the impossible in taking a morbid setting and making it look strikingly beautiful via inventive shots, ably placed slow motion and stylish angles. The flick was poetry in motion, dread filled poetry, but poetry none the less! Will I say the word poetry again? Yes. Poetry. Add to that an engrossing lead in sociopath Francesco Dellamorte (ably played by Rupert Everett) arousing sexuality oozing out of many frames (and Anna Falchi's incredible nude body), a loveable sidekick in Gnaghi the simpleton (I wish I was that dumb), a rousing score and a downbeat yet appropriate ending and you get an obscure classic that shouldn't stay obscure no more.

Any complaints? One actually, its minute but it needs to be said. I didn't fully buy into the love story between Francesco and "She". It takes more than somebody saying "I'm in love" for me to feel it on the flipside of the screen. Sadly Everett and Falchi shared little chemistry together which was a low down dirty damn shame since their courtship was the core of the story. Result; the love story between numb-skull Gnaghi and the talkie severed head touched me more than the latter and was way more credible! Who knew? With that spat out, Cemetery Man was still a uber delight that aimed high and hit the nail on the head 99.9 percent of the time. In the mood for something fresh, daring and totally off the wall! Bury yourself in this lot!

How do I love my gore? Let me count the ways! All kinds of decrepit and decomposing zombies, headshots galore, beheadings, bloody Zombie bites and countless sharp objects being rammed into undead skulls with messy aftermaths. Fun stuff!
Rupert Everett (Francesco) had a bleakness about him, depth and a gnarly dead pan delivery to make the part work. François Hadji-Lazaro (Gnaghi) was effective and kind of cute (in a owning a poodle type way) in the offbeat role. Anna Falchi (She) was not much of an actress here but her sizzling bod, photogenic face, oh so suckable lips and Grade S for spank-hard ass made up for that. Goddess I tell ya! Goddess!
T & A
Two words guys: Anna and Falchi. The woman has a body to die for and she showed it off with all kinds of melon shots and cheek to cheek shots. WOW! Like really...wow! She should get that bod ensured because it must be worth GOLD in the bedroom. The ladies get a thin and cut Rupert Everett showing off his pecs and buttocks.
Michele Soavi owned style wise with Stagefright and The Church and here was no exception. Ample slow motion, daring shots, endearing Gothic feel and all kinds of neato visual tricks with cloth (you'll see), Soavi gave us a macabre gorgeous yet poetic opus. The man NEEDS to make more movies just so that I WILL BE HAPPY!
The score by Riccardo Biseo and Manuel De Sica was infectious in its catchiness, ample weight and delicious dark tones. Now that's a score that does what a score should do! Back up and amplify the imagery! NOTE: If you listen close enough, you'll hear "Hellraiser" by Ozzy Osbourne kick in at a certain point.
Cemetery Man is not a film for everybody. Its evenly paced and is maybe a tad too "artsy fartsy" for some. But this mook loves it with a passion! The relatable subject matter (love/death), the bummed out tone, the excessive violence, the charming script, Falchi's heart shaped ass, the offbeat humor, the swell lines...what's not to love? Feeling down lately? Life's not agreeing with you? Your lover is cheating on you with your dad? Watch this flick and bring your mood to the finish line. Don't forget the bottle of bourbon, the six shooter and that "one" steel tipped bullet! See ya in hell!
The flick was shot in Italy for $4,000,000 beans.

The flick was based on Tiziano Sclavi's novel "Of Death and Love"

The DVD contains these features: Trailer - Director Bio - Death is Beautiful featurette (interviews with Anna Falchi, Michele Soavi and more). The DVD also comes with an 8-page Collectors' Booklet.