Reviews & Counting
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Evil Aliens(2006)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Jake West

Emily Booth/Michelle
Jodie Shaw/Candy
Samuel Butler/Ricky
Chris Thomas/Thomas
8 10
A skeptic TV crew from a dish-rag TV show called Weird World head out to some welsh island to do a story on a gal (Jennifer Evans) who claims she got abducted (and impregnated) by evil (and must be horny) aliens. Once there, they find out THE HARD WAY, that her story is f*cking true! Let the bloodshed rip!

A bloody close encounter

Not having tripped out to Director Jake’s West's prior low budget flick Razor Blade Smile (great lesbo stuff in there though) I came into Evil Aliens with reservations even with all the positive hype that was tagged to its chromed bumper. Well color me blue, slap red throwers on me and call me Papa Smurf, Evil Aliens wound up being fun f*cking stuff in a bottle and I now have an all new respect for Mr. West. Notice that I called him Mister…there you have it!

Acting almost as an ode to the old Peter Jackson days of Bad Taste and Dead Alive, the novel Evil Aliens put its low coins where they count: in splatter. This flick was one messy and rambunctious toddler and I loved it for it. It had been a while since I had seen an all out slaughter-fest of this nature and it felt great to swim in that chunky red pool again. You can’t go wrong with extravagant, no holds barred, outrageous (loved that farm vehicle bit) and side splitting violence! YOU JUST CAN'T! The flick also whooped me silly when it came to it’s mostly well-played "circumstantial" "gag inclined" and “out of school” humor as I chuckled whole heartily many o times. Ever see a dude get his ass drilled to oblivion by an E.T. Power Tool? Or how about a female alien-slut teaching some poor human schlep a sex lesson that he won’t soon forget by riding him like Bronco and cumming profusely all over him? Neither have I (unless my drunken weekends count) and I highly esteemed the audacity and the novelty of those scenes.

Character wise, gold was found in this treasure chest once again (What kind of f*cking analogy was that? I suck!). Although far from developed or even likeable on paper, the excellent cast on hand made it all happen with their charisma and tuned up deliveries. I was rooting and tooting for everybody in here, selfish a-holes or not, and at the same time, I popped a boner when the flick mercilessly and unexpectedly nix them out in overly graphic ways. Tag to all that, wild imagination up its Uranus (this flick went all out in the unique set pieces/scenarios), an engaging enough storyline, fanboy pleasing genre film references galore (I won’t give em out, you find them...more fun that way), an easygoing pace and a heart warming, un-apologetic "F.U." attitude and you get a sit down that was more fun than a barrel of monkeys humping each other as if it was Mardi Gras…for monkeys.

On the slim downside, the film sported one “dumb move to serve the plot” that I couldn’t let go, even though this was a horror comedy (Truck wiper stuck, blood on window…lets abandon it and go on foot? Wha????) The “Fisher Price” CGI let me down in places too. I’m all for low rent practical bloodshed, I always let it fly as there’s a charm to it, but its harder with shoddy CG. Some of the digital bits looked more like templates than finished effects and their basic nature diminished some of the film’s kool scenes. And where in Benny Hill’s name was the "human" TNA? I mean this type of shin-dig begs for it, specially when you got "we've shown our titties before" Emily Booth and Jodie Shaw in the house! Finally, the humor missed my funny boner a few times, with the worst joke having to do with an alien slipping on a banana peel. That’s just too infantile…and it’s me talking here! I’m an immature, frat boy wannabee clown!

When all was slashed and splat red on my screen, Evil Aliens put out a “me love you long time G.I.” horror party. Gore, yuk-yuks, panache, all wrapped in poor taste, this tramp aimed to please and please she did! Get abducted by this one and duck the drill!

This baby gets a high-five and hit for the delicious splatter it slapped my way. I'm talking a drill up the ass, a hole in the head, a skinned animal, dismembered cows/humans, beheadings, heart ripped out, eyes poked out, weed whacker fun, ripped off legs, ripped out head, chainsaw fun and more! ACES HIGH!
Emily Booth (Michelle) rocked my cock as the selfish, coke snorting dame. Her delivery was bang on so was that awesome cleavage. Jodie Shaw (Candy) won me over via her tough as nails demeanor and hot-to-trot bod! Samuel Butler (Ricky) kicked that ass with his energetic, edgy yet funny show.

I was rooting for Chris Thomas as the badass inbred like goon named Thomas. There was just something about him that I mucho dug. Nick Smithers (Bruce) was pretty funny as the flamboyant gay actor. Jennifer Evans (Cat) did what she had to do well, I dug her the most when she played it "evil" though. Jamie Honeybourne (Gavin) and Peter McNeil O'Connor (Jack) were hilarious in their respective roles. Great cast!

T & A
We get Emily Booth cleavage and oddball (yet strangely arousing) female alien butts/ breasts. The ladies get some male bum-bums bumming around.
West was cocaine fueled here with varied zany shots, slick use of slow motion/freeze frames, high energy and interesting looks galore. I wasn't too fond of the occasional abrupt cuts within the scene transitions though but that's just me.
We get an effective score and clever use of different type of music to serve the feel of specific scenes (loved that Farm-ish dittie)!
You gotta love low budget horror films! They're the only ones that get away with this kind of extreme stuff! If there was a line, EVIL ALIENS  crossed it! Gory kills, hot slutty sluts who like being sluts, drug use, gruesome use of farm equipment, dead animals,  E.T./human banging and more! West tossed every freaking thing at us here, all dipped in his gripping kinetic visual style no less.  Granted a couple of jokes fell flat, human female nudity should've been at play here, one plot hole bugged me and the CG was at times weaker than an impotent man at an orgy... but at the end of the sloppy BJ, I had a very happy ending. Will you?
Norman Lovett of "Red Dwarf fame has a cameo and Merv (James Heathcote) and Onkey (Dan Palmer) of FREAK OUT also show up in the film!

Director Jake West also wrote the screenplay.