Reviews & Counting
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Resident Evil: After Life(2010)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Paul Anderson

Milla Jovovich/Alice
Ali Larter/Claire
Kim Coates/Bennett
Shawn Roberts/Wesker
6 10
Alice (Jovovich) and her clones kick the Umbrella Corporation in the nuts and then she heads out to find the promised land that is Arcadia. She hooks up with an old pal along the way, makes new buds and discovers that Arcadia is not what she thought it would be. Let down, Alice goes on to gun down, kick and punch every baddie in sight.
I should’ve watched RESIDENT EVIL EXTINCTION before seeing this follow up, I may have been less lost as to what was going on and why I should care. Folks kept yelping “K-Mart” and I thought they wanted to go shopping… but I digress. Although the underrated gem that is RESIDENT EVIL (I will always stand by that movie) aside, this franchise has underwhelmed me, I was pumped for this one. Why? The 3D? Nope, Paul Anderson back behind the camera that’s why. Dude can’t do no wrong as a visual stylist IMO and I was hoping for a flick just as strong as the original; I didn’t get it…but at least I got my slow motion fix!

I stated in my RESIDENT EVIL EXTINCTION review that it was the thinnest of the franchise, I now stand corrected, this new installment just beat its ass in that department. Yup, the plot line for RESIDENT EVIL AFTERLIFE could’ve been jolted down on half and I stress the word HALF of a napkin…no need for a screenplay here, this tale didn’t need one. It was 1, bang, bang, bang, 2 bang, bang, bang, 3 bang, bang, bang. So on a positive note I relish BANG BANG BANG. Scratch that I f*cking love it and RESIDENT EVIL AFTER LIFE gave me my fill of spent ammo via ALL KINDS of eye popping and insanely staged action sequences that slapped a smile on my face. Although derivative of all the cool action bits found within THE MATRIX franchise, the physical get downs in AFTERLIFE still got the job mothef*cking done and thank Thor for that cause they’re were the main (if not only) reason to see the film.

Another plus here was the 3D. Ya see, Paul Anderson alone is a visual ace, EVENT HORIZON and RESIDENT EVIL proved that; Paul Anderson with a 3D camera though, hey it’s like a pimp potty training a new hoe, dude went buck nuts bareback with it. Unlike recent 3 “shitty post conversion” D flicks, AFTERLIFE gave us real 3D and Anderson didn’t miss a beat in shoving it our faces. Look Zombie brains splattered out the screen! Look that big goon’s (What was that giant again? I’ll never know…) hammer is coming our way! Fun shite! Add to that a very cool score by Tomandandy (they did the audio spiel for Fight Club), slick set designs, a potent sound mix, some groovy beasties spread throughout (loved how the dogs split into The Thing like monsters), Anderson going buck-nuts with the zany angles, tracking shots, money shots and slow motion (he even freeze framed at a certain point…nice!) and the forever graceful Milla looking damn cool (as always) kicking ass and you get a visual audio/visual treat that lacked meat but hit the aesthetic spot.

On the downside; what a shame. This movie would’ve been the tits if it had a REAL screenplay behind it. Let’s face it here this franchise is out of juice. My brother said it best when were walking out of the theatre: “Why the f*ck does Umbrella Corp even care about the T Virus or the survivors anymore; there’s hardly anybody human left on earth! Like really, why does anybody give a twat about anything???? Although the characters kept pretending that there were stakes, we knew better and Anderson knew better too hence why he didn’t bother writing a full fledged script. There were no stakes here, just Milla, looking smokin & whooping skulls wrapped in a slick kinetic visual blanket… that’s it! And why the f*ck did they take away Alice’s powers to then have her do crazy superhuman shite that negated that ploy? Didn’t get it. Other than that, the acting was at times of the Grade School level variety, pretty embarrassing stuff within a big budget Studio picture if ya ask me or my sock puppet Jenny. NOTE: Was it me or was Ali Larter, a usually competent actress, just punching in here? It looked that way. Moreover, characterization never went beyond stock characters (Kim Coates plays an asshole that turns on peeps? You don’t say!), the flick had pacing issues in the middle section, some of the green screen/CG was straight out of the Sci Fi Channel school and our main villain could’ve been effective if he wasn’t a complete a-hole via his shameless scene chewing and sunglasses 24/7 abusing ways.

So on the whole what I can say man! Audio/visual? GRADE A. Everything else Whatever. Although it sported some of the best action bits within the franchise, the rest was meh to say the least. RESIDENT EVIL on film, as we know it, is DONE. Its out of story! Let’s…MOVE ON and call it a better life!
This had to be the driest of all the RESIDENT EVIL entries; apart from a couple of gun shots to the head, a swift dude cut in half and some CGI blood — nothing to see here,… there’s more red on my ex gf's tampon.
T & A
Milla is hot. Hot in skin tight black outfits, hot when clipping her toe nails, hot when putting her boot up some zombie’s ass…hot. All ya get.
This is a tough one to rate. I enjoyed it more than Part 2 and dug it pretty much on par with Part 3, but when I re-read my drivel, it feels like a lower rating than Part 3. What to do? Here’s a true story that will give ya my take: a while back I met this blonde haired, blue eyed (my weakness) girl in a club, she was absolutely, f*cking gorgeous. Like pretty in a forget about it kind of way. So I go talk to her, do my thing, we sit down, I get some drinks going and we yap the night way. Sadly for me, ten seconds into our spit session, I quickly realized that although visually astounding, this chick was as thick as bricks i.e. a simpleton. But late that night (or should I say morning) I took her home (or should I say Motel) anyway and we had some fun and yes it was incredible. She gave me all that she had in the hump department and I respected that. But after that night, we parted ways and I never acknowledged her existence again. Why? Cause a pretty girl with no brains is just that, a pretty girl with no brains and they are a dime a dozen. If that gal was a movie, she’d be named RESIDENT EVIL AFTER LIFE.
Resident Evil: Afterlife was the original title for Resident Evil: Extinction.

Jensen Ackles was at first considered for the role of Leon S. Kennedy.

That big giant dude was lifted out of the Resident Evil 5 video game.

Look out for a Jill Valentine cameo at the end; played by Sienna Guillory

For everybody complaining about George Romero's RE script not being made...I read it... it wasn't all that IMO.