Reviews & Counting
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Brian Yuzna

William Miller/Dante
Nicholas Aaron/Sugarman
Irene Montalà/Ula
5 10
An escaped convict (Miller) with crazy hair is on the lam from the law as he searches for his missing wife. To make matters better (for us), the powers’ that be sent a peeved Cyborg Rottweiler on his tail, one who’s anxious to chew him to bits! Run beeyach run! And I don’t mean the dog!
I don’t know about you guys and dolls but when I hear a premise like: “Cyborg dog hunts down a convict who’s on the run” I think “cheese” and if I’m lucky, I get fun f*cking cheese when actually thumb wrestling the flick. So all I expected from Rottweiler was easy strokes of metallically jacked up Cujo exploitation but to my astonishment (yes I don’t leave the house much now of late), the film took a different route than I expected, for better and for worse.

Rottweiler went beyond the call of duty and offered us …get this….a character driven piece. Now don’t get me wrong, the tense “doggie hunts human snacks” sequences and the countless “money dog shots” with the smoke machine going haywire in the background were in the dog house but the main driving force behind this K9 was actually one of one man’s search for his missing wife. To be honest, at first I was groaning when the latter subplot kicked in where I couldn’t believe that they would pour thick corn syrup on a killer-robot-dog opus. But as the clock ticked forward, I actually found myself getting into it! I’m such a freaking softy! What’s wrong with me? Coupled with the “tease-tease” way the “whole story” was gradually delivered via flashbacks, the high level of brutality (that’s one vicious pooch) and the random slick visuals, I found myself invested enough in the happenings to not gander at the magic “stop” button on my remote control.

Alas, Rottweiler was dragged into the pound on many occasions starting with the inclusion of unneeded baggage. The lead was haunted by “filler’ apparitions throughout and they got tiresome real fast. Shite...a ghost actually popped up at a certain point to give his insight on what’s going down. WHA???? That took away from the film’s grounded feel and shot it straight into another stratosphere; one that I didn’t want to visit. Furthermore, the blah oddball characters our hero met along the way did next to nothing for me. Talk about boring! Hooking up with tree branches would have made for more engaging exchanges. Then we had the clash of the tones kicking in! I mean the flick took its story and its lead character’s plight so seriously that when the tacky robo-dog stuff popped up, I couldn’t help but laugh my ass off. It didn’t work yet it should be said, it turned the film into a somewhat fascinating oddity. Lastly, the acting on display went from awful to adequate. But when it sucked, it sucked hard!

I got to respect Rottweiler on some levels; it had “carte blanche” to go the “cheese-fest” way but instead it opted to stone face it all, hence mostly negating what a killer-robot-dog movie should be all about. Personally, I was never truly bored by this bitch and semi enjoyed my sit down with it, mostly due to being bamboozled by its odd narrative choices. With that said, as the end credits rolled I had already forgotten all about it." You can adopt this doggie or neuter it? Your call Tacos!
We get a chewed off arm, a severed head, a chewed off hand, lots of guts munching and bloodshed. The flick wasn’t overly graphic yet it was harsh with its violence (I like that!)
William Miller (Dante) looked like a cross between Christopher Lambert, Casper van Dien and Tarzan. Although a tad “off” in places, he carried the film admirably. Nicholas Aaron (Sugarman) did wonders within his limited screen time. Memorable. Irene Montalà (Ula) wasn’t onscreen often but when she was there; she gave enough of a good show to give that extra ounce of oomph to the “love story”. I bought it!
T & A
We get some random TNA during a strip club scene and a topless MILF riding away. The ladies get William Miller showing his butt and ding-dong for wayyyyy too long! We get it, he has a white, bony ass, can we move on? I couldn’t wait for him to find some freaking clothes already!
Brian Yuzna is a fascinating filmmaker where his work is “hit and miss” but even his “misses” are more interesting than the average B schlocker. Yuzna had his moments here (Slick dog POV shots — some tight atmosphere — some tension) but at the same time, lots of it came accross flat. Uneven.
The score by Mark Thomas was gripping and compelling when used. They didn’t milk-bone it for all it was worth though.
Rottweiler is yet another anomalous effort by the much loved (by me anyways) Mr. Yuzna. On one end, it was never uninteresting, made some ballsy, silly & unorthodox story choices, came through with some suspense, delivered on the brutality and that robot dog was a freaking hoot! On the other, the flick took itself way too seriously to fully come through as fun cheese and it should’ve abandoned that whole “art film/existential” card it was playing. It’s a movie about a Cyborg dog guys! Not Dante’s Inferno…COME ON! See it if drunk while getting a head job by your human pet.
The flick was shot in Barcelona, Cataluña, Spain

The screenwriter behind this flick Miguel Tejada-Flores also contributed to FRIGHT NIGHT 2, SCREAMERS, FAUST and BEYOND RE-ANIMATOR