Reviews & Counting
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Shutter 08(2008)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Masayuki Ochiai

Joshua Jackson/Benjamin
Rachael Taylor/Jane
Megumi Okina/Megumi
David Denman/Bruno
2 10
A newly married couple winds up in Japan due to the duder’s job (he’s a photographer) and they then find themselves spooked by some spirit chick that appears in their pictures. Monotony ensues.
I don’t know how they manage to pull it off, but they f*cking do! BRAVO! BRAVO! Congratulations on remaking a flick that scared the shit out of me (yes the original Thai effort SHUTTER) and delivering the most tiresome hour and half I’ve had to survive this year thus far. How can they screw up when they have a proven recipee in their back pocket (i.e. the original). My dumb as Hilton date actually had to nudge me during the screening to see if I was still kicking. To be fair she had to nudge me at the restaurant too, but that was due to her being a freaking insipid ditz with a poor knowledge of basic social skills. But that’s another story… one that’s most likely more compelling than the crappy film I just endured.

This US re-imagi…oh f*ck that word! This US stripped down, dumbed down and targeted at the pre teen (teens are smarter than this) crowd DUB was akin to watching cum dry on some pay-as-you-go slut’s jaded face. The pacing was ridiculously sluggish (Was I watching a 3 hour Russian epic over here?), the evolution of the narrative choppy, the turn of events dry, the momentum null, the editing too tight and the scares NON EXISTENT. No really…NON EXISTENT! Even the cheap boo ploys at play didn’t get a reaction out of me. And should I mention how the flick kept SPELLING things out for us as if we’re complete imbeciles? How everything was telegraphed and obvious… aimed at the lowest denominator (I don’t know what that means BTW)? Or maybe I ought to address how the depth, irony and pathos of the original were traded in for vacuous, flat and heartless? And to make matters more stinging; this fart played it way too safe when taking into account the themes at hand, put out inane character moves to serve the plot and it couldn’t pull of one scare bit in terms of staging, beats and execution.

You know you’re in trouble when the most entertaining element in a horror film is witnessing the lead (who’s supposed to be fluent in Japanese) say one word in that said language and then always scoot off camera. LOL! Yeah like I believe he speaks Japanese. Was it so hard to get Joshua Jackson to learn a couple of sentences for the part! I freaking chuckled every time that went down and the fact that I did basically means that either I or/and this cinematic turd are pathetic. Any pats on the back to give? Well the cinematography looked swell, serving the Tokyo setting well (hey that rhymed). I also dug Joshua Jackson and Rachael Taylor in their respective roles. Taylor in particular did it for me big time! Sizzling hot yet non-slutty; always refreshing! And she’s got a crazy bod too! Her undies scenes have been engraved in my pants for at least 3 hours now.

On the whole, this limp dick US version of SHUTTER was just that; a genre limp dick, flopping around, with nowhere to go and nothing to screw. Drunk, tweaked up, while getting a BJ… don’t bother tapping this one. Nothing to see here! Like really. NOTHING! Carry on!
We get some blood, a hollow eye socket and a rotting corpse i.e. NADA!
Joshua Jackson (Benjamin) is an able actor and here he did what he could with what he was given. Rachael Taylor (Jane) impressed me this time. Think a more talented and less bitchy feeling Elisha Cuthbert. She was one of the best things in the film. Megumi Okina (Megumi) looked the part, that’s all she needed to do.
T & A
Rachael Taylor’s bra and undies scenes were the most memorable moments of the film.
A couple of nifty camera tricks and some random potent atmosphere aside; uninspiring was the word. Felt like a bunch of suits directed the film… then again… that’s probably what happened.
A serviceable score; nothing to neuter your pets about.
Was a SHUTTER remake made? I wouldn’t know! I already forgot that I just saw a movie. This wretched excuse for a horror film was as dreary as they come! It missed the banana boat on all fronts. Story, characters, mystery, pacing, suspense — NO DICE! And scares? Shit man, I’ve had STD clinic visits that were more frightening than this garbage. Two strong lead actors and Taylor's goods in her undergarments aside, this flick blew! No wonder my screening was at 10PM at night the day before it opened…no wonder! I say, just tolerate the freaking subtitles and rent the original SHUTTER instead, cause this remake was a total waste.
Roy Lee was one of the producers on this film. He also produced the remakes of: The Ring, The Grudge, Dark Waters, The Grudge 2, The Eye and Shutter. See a pattern?

Luke Dawson wrote the script to this remake. He only has one other credit to his name: New York Stories (2003)

Joshua Jackson was born in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, A place I want to move to!