Reviews & Counting
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
The Blob 88(1988)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Chuck Russell

Kevin Dillon/Brian Flagg
Shawnee Smith/Meg Penny
Candy Clark/Fran
Jeffrey DeMunn/Sheriff Geller
10 10
A meteor crashes to earth and unleashes a pink goo like alien organism that grows bigger and bigger as it eats random folks. It eventually sets its sight on Kevin Dillon’s imposing mullet and the town it lives in. A rollercoaster ride of thrills, spills and giggles ensues. F*ck the 1958 Steve McQueen original in the ear and say hello to the real “Blob”!

Your meteor brought something all right but if it’s a germ, it’s the biggest son of a bitch you've ever seen! - Brian Flagg

One way to bring home the fact that most current horror movies blow dolls to “Toys R Us” hell is to go back and watch a groovy oldie. I hadn’t seen THE BLOB 88 in eons and since I’ve been jaded by the overabundance of crap that’s on the screen now of late, I decided that I f*cking deserved a Gourmet genre dish! So I Blobbed again and man, I wasn’t disappointed.

Having loathed the
so bad it’s a snooze-fest 1958 original; there’s always been just one BLOB for me: Chuck Russell’s mucho amusing remake. Watching it today, I’m overzealous to report (yes I’m reporting on it, look for me on the 6 o Clock News tonight) that the flick not only held up like a champ but actually wound up being much better than I remembered. In the words of my good buddies Bill, Ted and Rufus: it was EXCELLENT as it managed to do what a lot of recent horror films fail to do; to have its dead hooker and eat her too. The flick slapped stereotypical characterization my way but at the same time the dialogue/character driven situations were so witty and the cast so charismatic that the characters wound up being endearing & credible nonetheless… more so than the norm at that! Who knew? Digging the people at play definitely jacked up the choke hold that the suspense would have on me later down the kill!

In the same vein, the thought of a giant ball of pink Jell-O attacking humans is humorous in itself and the film definitely maximized on the funny opportunities. We got lots of clever circumstantial humor here and I found myself giggling like a doped up dope dealer more than once. Simultaneously though, this pink bitch didn’t muck around when it came to hunting, eating and melting humans. This BLOB was mucho pissed, sported lethal “human grabbing” tentacles (fun freaking times) and took no prisoners (Kids get it too!)! That mean streak resulted in a slew of suspense laced Blob VS human scenarios that had me jumping, sitting up nervously and laughing in glee at the zaniness before me. Top that with the many gory and gleefully innovative kills/payoffs and you get one tweaked up horror fan.

The effects at hand chewed my fat as well, with sleek uses of miniature sets, convincing prosthetic and stop motion that went from “freaking great” to so cheesy that they added to the 50’s roots of the picture. Double team all that sweet jive with a couple of kool Blob origin stories tossed out there (loved the Dinosaur one), well staged/ingenious action set pieces (all about that Blob Vs Motorcycle tunnel chase), an occasional pleasant 80's datedness to the whole (MULLETS!) and a perfect balance of camp and mean streak horror and you get one hell of a quality filled fear film. Nope, I have nothing negative to say about this prize fighter, it whooped me silly from every angle and I thanked it for it. Why don’t they make fun and quality filled horror films like this anymore? WHY for the love of Socrates' beard? While you ponder over that little piece of existentialism, let’s go “Blobbing” for dead cheerleaders!
We get a munched on hand, all kind of melting peeps, remains of half of a body, a severed arm, a man dragged through a drain (OH YEAH), decomposed/mangled human leftovers and more! This Blob didn’t skimp out on the desserts! GRACIAS!
Kevin Dillon (Brian Flagg) was likeable and on the ball as the brooding “bad yet good boy” with the overgrown mullet. Shawnee Smith (Meg) gave a highly memorable and engaging performance as the Post Ripley nice yet tough chick. This is the film that engraved her in mind; she’ll always be The Blob girl to me! Candy Clark (Fran) and Jeffrey DeMunn (Sheriff Geller) brought depth to their small roles which upped the impact of what happened to them. Character actor Paul McCrabe (Dep. Crane) gave another enjoyable and tough as nails display.
T & A
Hey was that a young Erika Eleniak showing off cleavage as the backseat gal? YOU BET IT WAS! See Under Siege to witness how her knockers grew to full form (With the help of sillicone) since this film!
Chuck Russell spanked this girl-scout like a pro, machine gunning a swift pace, thick tension, well executed “Blob teases and gets ya” sequences and enough jumps and nervous giggles to fill a whorehouse restroom. BANG ON! When did this guy go wrong?
The score went from energetic/gripping, to “The Thing like baseline” foreboding. It worked!
Remember when Hollywood use to do remakes cause they could actually “improve” on an idea? I sure didn’t, I’m so overdosing on remakes right now, that I puke them out once a day to keep the Doc away. THE BLOB 88 brought me back to a better time, a time when films had heart, soul and went for the jugular in terms of delivering the goods. Fast paced, tightly structured, well acted, suspense laced, outrageously gory and action packed, this baby cleverly homaged the film’s 50’s roots (Specially in the last block) while jacking up the jazz to THIS ROCKS! Hopefully they’ll sequalize it someday (the ending leaves the door wide open) as opposed to remaking it. Should be a blast with today’s technology! I want more Blob!
The flick was shot in Louisiana, USA for a whopping 17 Million clams.

Chuck Russell burst on the scene with Nightmare on Elm Street 3, lost his mojo after Eraser and is set to contribute to the decay of the horror scene with yet another freaking pointless remake of Piranha. I guess the 1995 TV remake wasn’t enough…urg…

Screenwriter/Director went to helm Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile and is also set to contribute to the remake virus with his next film being an update of Fahrenheit 451. Urg again… Hollywood sucks ass!