Reviews & Counting
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The Nines(2007)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: John August

Ryan Reynolds/Gary/Gavin/Gabriel
Hope Davis/Sarah/Susan/Sierra
Melissa McCarthy/Margaret/Melissa/Mary
5 10
A reckless and discontent action star, a TV writer and a famous videogame designer (all played by Ryan Reynolds) see their lives put through the ringer when weird shite befalls them and each respective duder seems to be tied to the other. What the...?
I had never heard anything about THE NINES before catching it; all I knew is that it starred Canuck on top of his game Ryan Reynolds and that was enough for me to want to give it a shot. Sadly, other than him owning the scenery, some random bits of humor and a handful of nifty ideas; The Nines left me in the dust of its own pretentiousness; and although all was crystal clear when it cleared I just didn’t give a shit.
THE NINES was broken in three parts. Part 1 was called "The Prisoner” about some reckless actor who’s put under house arrest and then has to deal with his annoying publicist, the sexy neighbor next door and some weird “ghost like visitations” that plague the house. I was doing okay during that block, charmed by Ryan Reynolds' freaking entertaining performance and the promise of something bigger and better to come. For a while there the “Number 23” like device via the surfacing of the number 9, the ghost apparition and the Misery-ish winks led me to ask myself lots of questions. But before I could get any answers, I was brought to Part 2 "Reality" and then Part 3 "Knowing" and I swiftly realized that the film was going to be playing a game that I didn’t particularly care for.

Although Part 2 had a groovy “Reality TV show” angle to it while sporting an accurate depiction of the industry in all of its human ugliness and that Part 3 gave out the nifty main twist, on the whole both segments were pretty much the equivalent of vacuous air being blown up one's corn-hole. Sure it tickled and sometimes felt good (mostly due to Ryan Reynolds carrying the film like a champ) but at the end of it all; it didn’t affect me, bowl me over or mean much to me. Shite, I don’t even get what the whole obsession with the number 9 was really about. I mean I heard the explanation, I know what the flick meant to say with it but… that’s it! All that for that? And that main twist…okay… slick on paper but way too artsy and pretentious for its own good. Was that all jive supposed to be deep and thought provoking? Was I to be affected by all this? Didn’t happen.

On the whole; The Nines looked polished, sported strong performances, put out efficient humor and a handful of swell ideas but as the end credits rolled it all went over my melon. Not that I didn’t understand it; seriously this had to be one of the more “easy to discern” mind*ck of all time. Its just that I didn’t care for what it was, what it tried to do and what it had to say. Should’ve stuck to the first segment and ran with that... but that’s just me! I’ll stick to Lost Highway and The Fountain thank you very much!
None whatsoever.
Ryan Reynolds (Gary/Gavin/Gabriel) proved that he can be a compelling leading man and that he's able to carry a film effortlessly. Hopefully next time it will be in a film that I will love as opposed to feel ho hum about. Hope Davis (Sarah/Susan/Sierra) and Melissa (McCarthy/Margaret/Melissa/Mary) were both excellent in their various roles and along with Reynolds two of the main reasons why I sat through the whole thing.
T & A
Nothing. We do get Hope Davis looking as eatable as can be and the ladies will be happy to know that Ryan Reynolds still has them Blade 3 abs going for him and he shows em off a lot.
John August directed with a firm hand, communicating the many worlds of his story with flair and style. The editing also has to be commended as it often accentuented the humor and the oddness of the film.
We get a varied score (and ditties) that fit the many moods of the picture.
THE NINES had an awesome cast, nifty humor and acted as a great card for Ryan Reynolds to play in terms of him proving he can carry a film both on a dramatic and comedic level. But the first segment and random elements off the other two aside; the flick didn't gel together and didn't bring much to my one brain cell either. Even its "slick twist" couldn't make all that I watched 100% worthy of my time. But what do I know! The flick has been very well reviewed thus far... so maybe you'll dig it. Just wasn't for me man!
This was John August's feature debut as a director. He has written Go, Big Fish, Titan A.E., Charlie's Angels, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Corpse Bride.

The film was shot in Los Angeles, California and Topanga Canyon, California, USA.