Reviews & Counting
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
The Quiet(2006)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Jamie Babbit

Camilla Belle/Dot
Elisha Cuthbert/Nina
Martin Donovan/Paul
Shawn Ashmore/Connor
Katy Mixon/Michelle
6 10
Deaf, mute and hot orphan gal Dot (Belle) is shipped out to live with a f*cked up family. As time passes, the unit's skeletons leap out of the closet full force; resulting in Dot being pulled into their nightmare and life sucking hard for all involved.
I've been wanting to see THE QUIET since its brief theatrical fling last year. Sadly, much like me in the sack after a bottle of bourbon, it came and went out the door so freaking fast, that I didn't get a chance to mount it silly. Well I finally got to arm wrestle this bad girl to the ground and the first thing that came to my melted cheese noggin 20 minutes in was: "I sure know how to pick em!"  Where's the noose? I be bummed out!

The incredibly depressing THE QUIET was a flawed yet still engaging psychological thriller that explored the triggers that usually result in human evil: deceit, insecurities (the mother of them all in my opinion), sexual deviances and substance abuse (Basically me on weekends, minus the insecurities and sexual deviances; I'm not THAT perverted yo!). What made the flick even more so compelling is that the shitty world it rubbed our faces in was seen through the point of view of a round buttock-ed deaf and mute chickadee; hence the sour content was for the most part communicated in an unbiased and brutally honest manner. I actually really dug that device; peeps being who they "truly are", flaws in tow cause their yapping to a deaf chick.Very clever and it got so ugly (All about that penis insecure dude...lol!) Yup it wasn't happy times at the out house with this one!

Visually, the film kept to the same joo-joo as its substance. The way I perceived it, was that the claustrophobic, bleak yet slick and sensual look at play was a result of the story mainly being told  from the deaf and mute gal's point of view. Much like when dating a trophy dame with big cans, I personally couldn't take my eyes off this gorgeous film and when it would blab nonsense at me, I would just ignore what it said and keep my focus on its yummy attributes. Tag to all that fine acting by all (I now forgive Camilla Belle for the abysmal When a Stranger Calls remake), Cuthbert in so many undie shots that Arrow Jr. got exhausted of see-sawing in my pants and a downbeat score that hit the spot when it came to making the human pathetic-ness onscreen even sadder and you get a dirty little ditty that was worth zipping down for.

On the limp side of the noodle, shoddy script boo-boos were plenty. I mean the film's "surprise twist" was clumsily handled as I saw it coming MILES AWAY hence lessening my involvement in the shenanigans up to its reveal. And the twist itself was a bad move as to the whole; the flick would've been much stronger if the game was played straight instead of trying to be too "smarty pants" for its own good. The same could be barked about the chain of events and the "farfetched" turn they took down the road. Often enough, I just didn't buy the characters' choices, as they didn't feel organic and reeked of convenience. Speaking of characters; man were the peeps in this flick freaking sad-sacks or what? I should've known I was in trouble when I learned that the lead was called "Dot". DOT! Who calls their daughter Dot and expects her to have a good life??? Sheesh!

I found it real hard to care for such surface driven, cold hearted and utterly weak folks (wait till you meet Michelle...your back-hand will want to kick in). If these morons were a reflection of today's society; no wonder we're in trouble! I avoid people of this ilk like the plague in my everyday life and didn't care in hanging with them, even onscreen. I seriously kept wanting the movie to become a slasher, with me doing the human laundry on these mooks. Everybody here should've been called "Dot"...lol!  Finally, the lavish look that I so grooved to   did play against the film on occasions. I mean this is supposed to be "real life" but by making the flick stand out so much visually, it created a distance between me and what was going down.

All in all though, I still cha-chaed to THE QUIET even with its pratfalls in tow. The movie aimed higher than the norm and that in itself is always something for me to pop wood for. It wasn't all that it could've been and it kept struggling with its own identity (realistic vs. surrealistic) but at the end of the hump; it rained hard as the end credits rolled and that's always worth something. You gonna ignore this broad or take her for a ride in your new motor vehicle? Your call!

We get a slit throat and that was that on that, all the best, love and kisses.
Camilla Belle (Dot) was ideal casting as the intorverted, vulnerable yet strong protagonist. Elisha Cuthbert (Nina) did what she does best; play a damaged, sexy slut who prances around in her undies a lot. Martin Donovan (Paul) was very convincing in his twisted role; he might lose friend's due to it! Shawn Ashmore (Connor) nailed his part with his fearless show while Katy Mixon (Michelle) was so good at being a cold hearted, pathetic whore from hell; that I wanted to run a working lawn mower over her head.
T & A
We get a sultry Elisha Cuthbert in her undies and a pair of MILF titties pop out of the box at some point. Great box, better titties.
Jamie Babbit delivered a sumptuous, dread filled yet sexy looking film while addressing her f*cked up themes adequately. The flick was maybe a little too good looking for its own good though, creating a distance from the events at hand but what can you...
We're treated with a somber, evocative and failry sad score that made sure to keep my spirits down to the ground. Must get that soundtrack. Should be great for screenwriting back-up!
THE QUIET was a swell looking, gripping, well acted and often bold pill that left a bitter taste in my yapper as it faded to black. And it goes without saying that Elisha Cuthbert in her undergarments always equals fun times in my jockeys. Granted, its main "twist" was see through and useless, the characters were fairly despicable and the story turns often felt manufactured; but at the end of the neck-snap; the flick did enough "right" to warrant at least one watch. Bend this one over and teach her a lesson...than run out and never acknowledge her existence again.
The film sprang from a University of Texas program in Autin that aimed to give its students real filmmaking experience.

The flick cost about 1.000, 000$ to make.