Awfully Good #24

We’ll skip the third KILLER TOMATO movie because it was awful and nobody, no matter how intoxicated, should be exposed to it.

Killer Tomatoes Eat France! (1988)

Director: John De Bello
Stars: Marc Price, John Astin, Angela Visser

Is there a plot?

After escaping from jail, the mad Professor Gangreen decides that world domination by tomato is too tough and sets his sights on something a little easier—taking over France.

What's the damage?

Sadly, the self proclaimed fourth chapter of the Tomatoes Trilogy has a great title, but that’s about it. It maintains pretty much the exact same formula as the previous installments—wacky humor, tongue in check pop culture gags, irreverent produce—except now the style and jokes have gotten dangerously old.

“Now as you can see we’ve moved Hong Kong over to Europe in order to facilitate storylines for 4 of 5 more RUSH HOUR movies.”

Another cautionary clue is the casting this time around. The star power of George Clooney from the first sequel has been replaced by the guy who played Skippy on Family Ties. (I’ll let that sink in for a moment…) There’s also an appearance by Rick Rockwell, who would years later gain infamy as the tool from Fox’s Who Wants To Marry a Millionaire reality show. And poor, poor John Astin does his best to not commit career and literal suicide in his third TOMATO outing.

I like how the middle one is totally not a basketball they painted over.

At least now we can make fun of a KILLER TOMATO movie for being truly bad and not purposefully bad. For example, at this point the tomatoes have stopped being actual vegetables (I refuse to refer to them as fruit, dammit!) and instead are given animatronic talking faces and the ability to “run around.” It makes a the character interaction more lively but it also destroys the fun kitsch of the other movies. Likewise, all the self referential humor that was once clever now feels seriously stale. (I think Chuck DeBello keeps doing the “stop the movie and talk to the director” gag just so he has reason to put himself in the frame.) The majority of the laughs then fall amazingly flat, making for a boring time unless you’ve got some trusty brewskies by your side.

I bet you feel bad you made that joke now that he has Parkinson’s, don’t you? Assholes.

"Best" Line

To think, I’ve been doing it wrong all these years. Yikes.

"Best" Parts

1) Deus Ex Machina much?

2) Everyone’s excited about KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL!

3) What’s even sadder than this Killer Tomato rock-rap song is the fact that it’s still better than anything Limp Bizkit ever did. (And is that a Joel Silver cameo at the end?)

Nudity Watch

None. And the hot girl even mocks us for not seeing her naked due to the film’s PG rating.

Enjoyableness Continuum:

French a mutant tomato! Buy this movie here!

Play Along at Home!

Take a shot or drink every time:

  • There’s a baguette
  • A French stereotype is invoked
  • A girl talks in movie quotes

Seen a movie that should be featured on this column? Shoot Jason an email and give him an excuse to drink.

Source: DVD Clinic
Tags: awfully good



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