Alba is pregnant

God I wish I was reporting Jessica Alba’s involvement in a new movie called ‘Pregnant’ or something, but the truth is that she is reportedly pregnant with Cash Warren’s child and the world as we know it is over. Didn’t those two split up recently? The tabloids are usually so accurate! I’m aware that this isn’t strictly movie news, but damn it we’re a family over here and our family’s ‘favourite hottie’ is Jessica Alba, judging from our community lists. Of course the upside of this is that pretty soon we’re probably gonna get pictures of Alba with absolutely ridiculous pregnancy breasts. The downside being that at some point today I will be nunchuked by a midget and reporting that Bret Ratner has been handed the third Batman movie, since along with Alba’s body being sullied by pregnancy, those are pretty much the worst three things I can imagine and it would only make sense for them to hit me all at once. So I guess the following picture is one for the road. Enjoy it guys.

It remains to be seen whether or not pregnancy will dampen our interest in her. Natalie Portman is now the highest ranking, non-pregnant hottie. We’re all very excited to see how this plays out.