Best 2007: Horror! 2/2


ARROW INTRO: Yup another year has passed and all kinds of horror schtuff was tossed our way hence this zany retrospective-ish list. So pour yourself a tall glass of Jack Daniels, axe your better half in the head to get her/him out of the way and read on! You got the floor Ammon! Lather it in blood!

AMMON: With 2007 wrapping up, we here at AITH put our thinking caps on and came up with our Best and Worse of the year. The AITH news team (Eric, Jared, & my sorry ass) have put together our thoughts on what rocked and what sucked in this year - beyond just picking a top ten. Whether we were blown away (GRINDHOUSE, THE MIST), or simply bored to tears (SAW IV; HOSTEL PART II), here is the horror year in review - and as you can see, sometimes our tastes are alike, and sometimes they couldn’t be more different. Just goes to show you, opinions are like assholes… and so are we. Happy New Year, ya’ll! On behalf of the entire AITH crew, thank you for a great 2007! Let’s make 2008 a bloody good one!


AMMON: I have been waiting – no, dying - to see this movie since its first R rated trailer hit six months ago. And the day after Christmas, you know what I saw? Horribly negative reviews. And not just from the big critics, but EVERY CRITIC ON THE WEB. So awful that I can’t justify spending 10 bucks to see it on the big screen, when I know I’m going to be disappointed. F*ck that noise. Will we EVER see an ALIENS / PREDATOR movie hybrid movie that doesn’t suck???

ERIC: THE MIST. There were many options this year, and without a doubt worse movies. In fact, I liked this movie. It's just that it was my MOST anticipated picture of the year - I didn't want to "like" this movie, I wanted to love it. I wanted to be floored by it. I wanted to leave the theater excitedly singing the praises of a new horror classic. I left confounded and depressed, damning the sub-par effects and the misguided ending (not to mention some truly terrible choices regarding the score).

JARED: SPIDER-MAN 3. No doubt about it. SPIDEY 3 was a huge disappointment. So much hype for something so horrible. You have 3 villains in the film and what's your main focus? Mary f*ckin Jane? Come on now. This film pushed me over the edge in hating Kirsten Dunst. Tobey giving her the backhand was one of the best parts. And not enough Sandman.


AMMON: ELI ROTH. Hands down, Eli Roth wins, as his foot was shoved so hard in his mouth I think he lost a few teeth. Most notably, his statement blaming the internet for HOSTEL PART II’s crappy box office was stupid and proven untrue when HALLOWEEN hit 2 months later and killed the B.O. He was hot in horror at the beginning of the year, and now no one seems to want anything to do with him. Even if THANKSGIVING rocked and his idea for TRAILER TRASH sounds pretty awesome, there’s only a select few out there who even gives a f*ck about Roth anymore, and those are likely his parents.

ERIC: Anyone who predicted that HALLOWEEN would be a bomb at the box office. Or Good... It was neither.

JARED: First name that comes to mind is Corey Haim. Another name is Eli Roth. I would have to go with Roth though. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big Eli Roth fan. The man is a genius in the genre. I cannot wait to see what he does with CELL. But I remember reading his blog on the topic of HOSTEL 2 being pirated and I couldn't help but be a little taken aback. Sure, I see his point. If you’re a fan of the guy and want to see him succeed, go spend money on his movies... but to threaten to disappear for a while and put all your films on hold? That just hurt.


AMMON: ASYLUM. Asylum, the production company behind such ‘hit’ STD releases as I AM OMEGA. HUNTERS VERSUS ALIENS, SNAKES ON A TRAIN, TRANSMORPHERS, and the recently announced 100,000 B.C. I don’t know who I blame the most: Asylum for having the balls to release movies so similar to the bigger Hollywood pictures (without getting sued), or the idiots at the video store who actually pick it because they think it’s related to the real thing.

ERIC: AFTER DARK FILMS. Skinwalkers? Captivity? Another HORRORFEST botched? Nope, no shame...

JARED: I'd have to go with The Weinstein Company. Although the guys have some decent ideas (HALLOWEEN), they seem to just pick up whatever they can and green light every remake they could possibly get their hands on. Not a good thing.


AMMON: THE MESSENGERS. One flick I looked forward to was THE MESSENGERS, and when it came out, I realized something: Kristen Stewart sucks, and so does this movie. It was a tie between this and THE RETURN, but as THE RETURN outright failed and THE MESSENGERS hit the top Box Office spot with its first week in release before failing, THE MESSENGERS wins… because it fooled an assload of people out of their money.

ERIC: It's not too early to give this award to THE EYE or ONE MISSED CALL is it?

JARED: I'm going with SAW 4. What started as a ground breaking horror film in genre history has now become a date movie for Halloween... never thought I'd see the day when all these teen chicks would get all excited for a SAW movie... disappointing indeed.


AMMON: SAW IV. SAW. After SAW III, was there really a need for another one? The story didn’t deserve another entry because the main baddie and his sidekick died… yet they came up with a crazy idea to bring it back to life. I like that it’s now a ‘Halloween tradition,’ but that doesn’t mean the world needs more SAW movies. And with more SAW coming out this year and next… wake me up when another horror series lifts off the ground and blows this one away. And no, I’m not talking about another HOSTEL either. Torture porn is dead folks, accept it and move on.

ERIC: HOSTEL. I realize that Eli Roth DOES plan on putting it to rest - I just want to show my complete support for ending the already-stale tourist-torturing shenanigans.

JARED: SAW. Sure, SAW 4 was entertaining... but enough. After 2 it just started taking a huge nosedive. What else could they possibly do? No more Amanda and no more Jigsaw, it's time to just end it. Word is SAW 5 and SAW 6 are already signed, and as long as it makes millions, I'm sure we'll keep seeing them, but come on. SAW was a ground breaking horror movie in it's own and it's just getting tarnished with all these rushed sequels.


AMMON: GRINDHOUSE While I loved THE MIST, I’m going to have go to with GRINDHOUSE. Both PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF rocked my socks off like nothing else. PLANET TERROR gave us campy fun and extreme gore, while DEATH PROOF gave us Kurt Russell and one of the coolest car chases in cinematic history. I dug what they were trying to do, and even better than that, I think they accomplished it pretty well. It was exciting, new, and FUN. Plus the faux trailers for MACHETE, THANKSGIVING, and DON’T were flippin’ awesome. Putting them together in one double feature was the cinematic experience of the year.

ERIC: 28 WEEKS LATER. Best studio flick of LAST year, too.

JARED: 1408. Most people I've talked to didn't find anything appealing to the movie at all... but I dug it a lot. I loved every part of it. The one man show in John Cusack, the subtle supporting cast, the total mindf*cks Cusack goes through and the awesome ending. Out of all the horror flicks that came out this year, this one entertained me the most. Shoot me if you must, but I'm sticking with it.

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