Brad Pitt quits acting

I actually heard this rumor a couple of weeks ago, but I guess this makes it official. I doubt that he really means it, but I guess this means no chance of a FIGHT CLUB 2. Yippee. Sigh. Read the press release below:

Brad Pitt quits acting; concentrate on family
Friday, March 31,11:56 PM ET

Los Angeles -- American actor Brad Pitt announced last night that he would no longer be acting in movies, and that he was going to be focusing the rest of his life on his family and helping the world become a better place. Pitt, who just finished his "last film" with director David Fincher entitled "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", said that as much as he used to love acting in his earlier years, he simply can't seem to find the passion one requires to do the work these days, "I just can't keep pretending that I'm challenged by my acting roles anymore. My eyes have been opened to the world."

Pitt, very pensive, and who over the past two years has confirmed a relationship with fellow thespian Angelina Jolie, wants to focus on his growing family with Jolie -- which now includes four children -- and get into more humanitarian efforts, much like Angelina. Pitt said that he would finish up the remaining four projects to which he's already contractually obligated, including his "last movie ever" with director Marc Foster entitled "Dallas Buyer's Club", and then sell all of his belongings in Hollywood and move to a Castle in Ireland with Jolie and their children, so that they can have closer access to Africa and the other countries to which they're always traveling and buying kids.

"We've got so much money that it doesn't matter if I don't work another day in my life...", said Pitt, as he joked about how Jolie would now be the "bread earner" in the family. Referring back to one of his earlier roles in Tony Scott's "True Romance", Pitt said that he "wasn't gonna pull a Floyd" and just sit around in his dirty underwear and smoke pot all day, but did say that he had always enjoyed smoking marijuana, and that the laws in many of these other countries allowed him to smoke it, without all the hassle. He also said that most of the other countries have "better shit".

The good news for fans of the "Tomb Raider" series is that Jolie also announced that she has signed on for three more sequels to the smash videogame series, each of which will feature her in "less and less clothing". Jolie joked that by the 5th film in the series, "...we might actually turn it into an X-rated movie entitled "Boob Raider", in which different archeological nerds take turns tit-mashing me".

Pitt, who has made peace with his past, didn't seem to have any issues burning his Hollywood bridges now that he's "seen the light". Pitt confirmed that Fincher's "Fight Club" was actually a subconscious call for all men to become homosexual, and that he once slept with Tom Cruise and Antonio Banderas, but that "we only kissed and shit". He also confirmed that "Bruce Willis knows how to party" and that George Clooney, well...nothing bad to say about George Clooney, apparently he's just a class act, all around!

When Pitt was asked about which role he would remember most in his later years, he replied "Kalifornia because I was so totally baked during that entire shoot" and "The Devil's Own" because he apparently tried his Irish accent out "as a joke", but the director liked it, so they actually kept it in the movie. "That's part of the problem I have with Hollywood. As much as I had some good times early on in my career, the womanizing, boozing, the coke, the whores, the handjobs-- and most of that was just a weekend at Charlie Sheen's place-- I ultimately didn't grow as a human being and I tend to agree with sites like JoBlo.com that say that Hollywood has just gotten too predictable, too safe and too sequel and remake hungry."

Pitt, who used to secretly date the webmaster of JoBlo.com, Berge Garabedian (aka JoBlo), wouldn't admit to the "cheap plug" for his buddy's website, but apparently Mr. Garabedian didn't mind at all, "Is he single again?" No, Mr. Garabedian, Mr. Brad Pitt is not single, but he is cool enough to appreciate our annual April Fool's Day gag, which this year, is also 100% untrue from top to bottom. Thanks for playing along, folks.

Oh, and for our past April Fool’s Day stories, click on the links below, and remember to use the EMAIL THIS STORY TO A FRIEND link below to send this hot scoop to your buddies as well. Cheers!

April 1st, 2006: Wonder Woman Cast!
April 1st, 2005: Fincher directs Ei8ht?
April 1st, 2004: Alan Cumming weds Keanu Reeves!
April 1st, 2003: Zeta-Jones divorces Michael Douglas!
April 1st, 2002: Cruise and Kidman get back together!

Source: APN News



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