C’mon Hollywood #111

… so this is Christmas?
by Sturdy

So it’s that time of year again. The time where children go sledding in the snow, mom bakes homemade cookies and the suicide rate skyrockets. Yes, it’s the holiday season, so loopdee-doo and dickory dock. The exciting thing for us movie lovers is this is the time of year where studios release all of their Oscar hopefuls. The bad thing for us movie lovers is this is also the time of year where Tim Allen releases another unbearable Christmas movie.

Speaking of Christmas movies, what happened to them? It seems like it’s been a long time since there was actually a Christmas themed movie that was actually decent. And no, DIE HARD and LETHAL WEAPON don’t qualify as “Christmas” movies for the purpose of this rant. But when you sit down to watch a Christmas film with your loved ones, not many people think of SANTA CLAUSE 2. Most of us think of the classics like IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET or THE CHRISTMAS STORY. Which brings up the question, why can’t Hollywood make a decent Christmas film anymore?

The only 90 minutes in Tea Leoni’s life that she wasn’t annoying.

I will give them credit for a couple of recent films. ELF was pretty funny, but not what I’d call great. One of my personal holiday favorites is the vastly underrated FAMILY MAN, but other than those two, Hollywood has thrown strikes on the Christmas movie front since HOME ALONE. And HOME ALONE, by the way, doesn’t hold up well to repeat viewings. I’m not sure what we were thinking back in 1990. But none of these can compare to the old classics. This year is no exception with SANTA CLAUSE 3 already hitting theaters and DECK THE HALLS on its way.

We all saw this film coming didn’t we?

I don’t know if I’m more disappointed that Hollywood hasn’t made a good Christmas film in a long time, or that I’m more upset Hollywood has made so many bad Christmas films lately. I think one of the problems is that holiday movies have become more about making a quick buck than making a quality film. Hollywood knows that Christmas films will make at least a little money just because of when they’re released. At least that’s the only way I could see a film like CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS could make money. I don’t want this to be a rant about how much I dislike Tim Allen, but let’s just say Kranks induced mass amounts of vomiting. I’ll give Hollywood a hint and advise that unless it’s as the voice of Buzz Lightyear, Tim Allen should not be in movies.

Uggghh.

So c’mon Hollywood, make a quality Christmas/holiday film already! Give us something that we can relate to and something that provides a somewhat intelligent look into the holiday season. I know Hollywood is always scared of religion and Christmas is, of course, a religion-specific holiday, but this time of year is also about family, love, happiness and of course the lack of all of the above.