Coulrophobics beware! The Alamo Drafthouse to host clowns-only It screening!

Oh hell no! As a unabashed coulrophobic (a person who has a fear of clowns), I would personally like to twist a balloon into the shape of a hand giving the middle finger, and present it as a gift to whomever thought hosting a Clowns-Only screening of the upcoming IT remake at Austin's Alamo Drafthouse was a good idea.

Ugh! How can the universe actually allow this to happen, and who's to blame for this cinematic nightmare scenario? Well, do you recall when The Alamo Drafthouse received a barrage of sexist remarks and angry messages via social media regarding their Womens-Only WONDER WOMAN screening? Well, one voice who'd been shouting into the void had wrote on Facebook, “Will there be a male only screening for Thor: Ragnarok or a special screening for It that’s only for those who identify as clowns?” To which the Drafthouse then responded, "We might actually have to steal that clown idea." So thanks, random jerk on the internet, now this circus from Hell is actually happening. Good job!

As per their offical website and announcement, The Alamo Drafthouse has stated, “For this special screening of It, all attendees should arrive dressed as a clown in order to attend.” So yeah, be sure to break out your favorite John Wayne Gacy attire, and get to the venue well ahead of time if you also want to enjoy the "Barrel O' Fun" pre-party that begins at 5:30 on September 9th. There will be face paint stations, photo booths, and raffles set up to help keep you entertained until the evenings main event.

The Alamo Drafthouse Clowns-Only IT screening will take place on September 9th, with pre-party events beginning at 5:30, with the screening of the film set for a 7:00 p.m. start time.

I think I speak for the vast majority of sound-minded individuals when I say "F*ck this, and the clown car you rode in on!" You couldn't get me to attend this screening no matter how many delicious pies you offered to throw at my face. I'm certain that this event will be a major success, though I do hope that security for the event remains iron clad, as their might be more than a few psychopaths looking to have their own bit of fun that evening.

For everyone else, Andy Muschietti's rebbot of Stephen King's IT starring Bill Skarsgard will arrive in theaters on September 8th

Extra Tidbit: Obviously, much of this article is written in jest. I really do hate clowns, though. I sincerely hope everyone has a great time!



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