Last Updated on August 5, 2021
At JoBlo.com, we feel it’s our duty to keep you informed and satisfied. You want to know what your big choices are at the theater each weekend, and we’re happy to reach out and give you the full release.
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON
Who’s In It? Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, Alan Tudyk, John Turturro
Who Made It? Directed by Michael Bay (Paramount)
What Is It? The entire world is in peril (again) when the Autobots and Decepticons clash in the third mega-metal robopocalypse. The returning humans enter the fray along with some pretty new faces (like John Malkovich) as a new villainbot menaces the globe, a conspiracy is revealed, dialogue is shouted, vehicles turn into robots, buildings turn into rubble, and missiles turn into impossibly gigantic ‘splosions, all to justify the rapid collection of your entertainment dollars.
How’s It Look From Here? Mayhem maestro Michael Bay applies his endless enthusiasm for collateral damage (and juvenile humor) to a final cacophonous clash of CG metal, and half the planet will cheerfully pay to watch. Especially since it’s in glorious 3D (a format previous dismissed by the director as a “gimmick”, although his exec producer Steven Spielberg the box office receipts of AVATAR clearly changed his mind).
Buzz proclaims the trilogy-closer is exciting to the point of exhaustion, the story is far better than the senseless mess of the second, and the 3D is actually worthwhile. And nobody seems to miss Megan Fox.
Who’s In It? Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, Bryan Cranston, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Cedric the Entertainer, Wilmer Valderrama, Jon Seda, Taraji P. Henson, Rob Riggle, Pam Grier, George Takei
Who Made It? Directed by Tom Hanks (Universal)
What Is It? A middle-aged guy loses his job and decides to go back to college, where he develops a crush on his teacher, becomes the leader of a scooter gang, and encounters a whole lot of familiar character actors.
How’s It Look From Here? The always-likeable Hanks hasn’t directed a feature since the under-appreciated THAT THING YOU DO!, but… this doesn’t exactly scream “summer holiday weekend” so much as “Is TRANSFORMERS too loud for you? C’mon over here!”
Could be oppressively quirky but might be worth catching as a more quiet summer alternative, if only for the aforementioned likeability quotient of Hanks and the eclectic supporting cast. Assuming you can see them past Roberts’ terrifyingly gargantuan teeth.
Who’s In It? Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester, Katie Cassidy, Cory Monteith, Andie McDowell
Who Made It? Directed by Thomas Bezucha (Fox)
What Is It? A teen (Gomez) and several TV actor friends take a trip to Paris, and a case of mistaken identity leads to OMG international romance, a missing million-dollar necklace, and (presumably) a visit to Monte Carlo.
How’s It Look From Here? If you’re a tween girl (or happen to be into them) and you think giant robots are lame and Tom Hanks is just that old Forrest Gump dude, MONTE CARLO is probably where you’ll wind up. Then again, if you’re a tween girl and a Justin Bieber fan, you might not be that interested in paying to see his supposed girlfriend Selena Gomez, because rilly like what’s so special about her anywayyy?
The Independence Day weekend has become synonymous with general excess and deafening fireworks, so I guess that means it’s all about oversized robots smashing the shit out of each other for your amusement. Unless you don’t love freedom.
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