Total Recall… again?

Take an opportunity to thank Hollywood for saving your precious mental space. By repackaging your favorite movies — no matter how recent — you can delete the old files from your memory and use that newly vacated headroom for other valuable information like videogame cheat codes and imaginary files of Jessica Biel naked.

Paul Verhoeven’s gloriously violent sci-fi mindjob TOTAL RECALL is the latest rumored for remake treatment, according to Moviehole. The Weinsteins hold the property rights, and since there isn’t much point in continuing the adventures of Quaid and the Mars mutants with a sequel, the apparent intent is now to just do an updated version of the original. Hell, it’s a whole 17 years old! Needs more CGI!

If this news makes you feel something wet explode in your brain, to quote Arnie: “When you hear da crunch, you’re dere.” The original, of course, was based on a Philip K. Dick story and starred Arnold Schwarzenegger as an average dude (who happens to be built like Mr. Olympia and married to a then-hot Sharon Stone) whose implanted memory “vacation” uncorks his real personality as a secret agent. So he travels to Mars and meets a chick with three boobs and a guy with a puppet in his chest, and slaughters almost everyone in sight. A modern classic!