WTF? Oscar-winner Davis Guggenheim to direct a Justin Bieber biopic?? In 3D???

You sly, money-grubbing bastards…

According to Deadline, Paramount Pictures has made a deal “to turn Justin Bieber’s life story into a 3D feature biopic.” You might now be wondering, “What ‘life’ story? The kid’s only 16-years-old! He’s only been on the music scene since last year! Was he raised by bears?” The answer to that, unfortunately, is no. I just read his Wikipedia page and he was not raised by bears.

Davis Guggenheim, the Oscar-winning director of the Al Gore-pimped documentary AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH, is currently negotiating to direct the 3D (3D!) project. Deadline adds: “The film doesn’t have a title, but Bieber will play himself in the film. The pic will be sprinkled with performances from his current concert tour.”

Here’s the kicker: They’re planning on releasing the film on February 11 – Valentine’s Day weekend – of next year. Appealing to young teen girls during the season where their hearts are particularly aflutter? You f*cking guys are good. Evil, but good.