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The F*ckin Black Sheep: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

THE BLACK SHEEP is an ongoing column featuring different takes on films that either the writer HATED, but that the majority of film fans LOVED, or that the writer LOVED, but that most others LOATH. We’re hoping this column will promote constructive and geek fueled discussion. Dig in!

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) 
Directed by Jonathan Mostow

“Thankfully, T3 didn’t get cheap on the action.”

It’s always strange when studios decide to make a sequel to something more than a decade later. However, I have to say I’d rather see a sequel (thank you George Miller) than an entire franchise rebooted over and over again. Look at Spider-Man. Or Batman. Or…well…Terminator. The reboot process seems never ending. Sure, it’s understandable as actors get too old, move on, or just…die, but movies are a business so if there’s a dollar to be made, well by God that dollar will (attempted to) be earned.

A full 12 years after Terminator 2 blew everyone’s f*cking minds, here came Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. I have to admit I dug T3 when I initially saw it back in the day. Granted, I knew it wasn’t a James Cameron film and that it couldn’t possibly live up to the expectations. With that said, it seemed like T3 was in safe hands. Director Jonathan Mostow seemed like a hot director at the time, coming off the overachieving (and fully entertaining) Breakdown and U-571: both effective, down to earth action flicks that worked damn well. We all hoped T3 would do the same with tense, believable action that could make everyone collectively shit themselves.

Thankfully, T3 didn’t get cheap on the action. The best in show comes when the T-X drives that massive sign truck through a few blocks of Los Angeles, proceeding to destroy even entire city block (while Arnold holds onto the crane). It’s freakin’ ridiculous, but also damn entertaining as it remains a fine sequence that still looks and sounds absolutely great. The only problem? All the action that follows seems a bit of a letdown after such a spectacular start. They practically blew the budget in the first 40 minutes (Arnold took a minor pay cut to ensure the scene worked). Obviously more great action occurs (that casket shootout is stupid fun), but it can’t match that chase.

Speaking of not matching, somehow, a full decade after Stan Winston changed the special effects game with T2, this round of Terminator effects somehow doesn’t ring as impressive. Maybe they relied on CGI too much here, but the T-X just kinda exists. That wow factor is gone. Rewatch that bathroom brawl between the Terminators toward the end. It’s CGI dependency at its worse.

Somewhere along the way, Mostow and company decided to cute things up a bit, which I don't mind, but I must bitch a little. That male strip sequence is too goofy, and Arnold in those star shaped glasses is equally goofy. Though “talk to the hand” might be worse. Hell, the fact that he has to go all black leather again is a little silly. A little too obvious. It made sense in T2 because he ventured into a biker bar. Give the guy a new persona. Do something new…which brings me to Kristanna Loken. She’s obviously beautiful, but she fails to make the role her own like Arnold or Robert Patrick. Sure, Patrick played robot just like Arnold, but he made the character feel different, sleeker. It’s a shame Loken didn’t find her own path. She looks the part, but at times she appears to get off on the action, which ends up weird for everyone.

I think most folks did dig (or maybe got off) to the final act (spoilers ahead) with Skynet becoming active and the early Terminator machines get to work. It’s hard not to strangely enjoy the final moments when Connor makes it to the fallout shelter just as the destruction of civilization as we know it occurs (and then finally we get the damn music we want). It’s probably the second best part of the film. (end spoiler).

The cast is mostly good though it’s odd seeing Nick Stahl in the John Connor role. He’s fine here, but it’s just…strange especially since Ed Furlong would have been the right age. Likewise for Claire Danes. She’s fine here and a good actor, but she seems like an odd choice for the role. Arnold is Arnold, though he really doesn’t get many “moments” in this movie. This Terminator model didn’t download a copy of T2 in its databanks, which maybe is part of the problem with their chemistry.

Then again, it doesn’t matter. It’s Arnold as the Terminator, and it’s obvious how much he loves the role. Shit gets blown up and machines run rampant. What’s not to dig? Terminator 3 ends up a little unbalanced and failing to match T2, but hell, few movies can. If the new one, Terminator Genisys, can match what part three brought to the table, then consider me satisfied. Just no more star glasses.

 

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Published by
Ryan Doom