1st Jen’s Body review!

Hot off the heels of the first ever BENJAMIN BUTTON review , we’ve got another “first ever” review today – this time a look at the horror-comedy JENNIFER’S BODY. Starring Megan Fox with a script by JUNO Oscar-winner Diablo Cody. It was meant as an homage to films like EVIL DEAD but was it successful? “That Chilean Kid” caught a screening of the film (he was told they were the “first outside the studio” to see it) and shares with us his thoughts (some mild spoilers ahead).

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Okay so in my respective city they had screening for a movie and my friends got some tickets for it. It said “dark horror comedy with Megan Fox.” Then it said “from JUNO writer Diablo Cody.” Ugh, don’t get me wrong, JUNO is good (not sure if it’s Oscar-worthy or even nomination good) but JUNO in a dark comedy horror? The guy saw we were anxious but said “WAIT!!! Megan Fox is topless!!!” Well that sold my buddies. Nonetheless not only *SPOILER ALERT* did we not see her topless but the movie was indeed quite awful.

First the story is about two girls who have been glorious friends since they played in the sandbox and Jennifer (Megan Fox) is the preppy school cheerleader who all the girls wants to be and all the boys want.  Needy (Amanda Seyfried… the girl from MEAN GIRLS who coul tell the weather with her boobs) is the social outcast. Not to give away much but one night something bad happens and Jennifer becomes a monster thing that eats boys. And Needy becomes the hero who tries to stop her.

So far, nothing special.  The opening scene opens up with some light JUNO-ish music and for a split second I think that it’s Juno narrating, what with quick quips and a sarcastic tone. Everything moves very much like JUNO and in fact most of the cast from JUNO is back. J.K. Simmons is back in a delightfully funny role as a teacher with a hook for a hands and the haircut of a crazy person. Juno’s mother is back as another mother and even the Asian girl from outside the abortion clinic scene is back for just one scene again. Why you can even see Diablo Cody as a bartender if you look close.

Everything is moving until Fox comes back and is drenched in blood and everything switches gears to horror.  At first it is kind of interesting until Fox pukes up black goo or as Needy says “pure evil.” I for one saw it as the fall point of the film. The entire audience took it in for a few minutes then just laughed their heads off at what was supposed to be a scary scene. From there Needy freaks out, Jennifer runs, and we switch into drama mode of Needy crying and freaking out. Then back at highschool its JUNO mode. And thats the film basically in a nutshell.

To describe it in one word? Schizophrenic. The film continuously switches gears and like a first time driver with stick shift, it happens to fast and the car dies (in this case the film falls flat).  Dark comedy? Yes there is a scene where J.K. Simmons thinks a youth screaming is just mourning and yes that was funny but that was just about the only scene where people laughed because it was meant to be funny.  This movie is one of those cases where we weren’t laughing WITH you. We are laughing AT you.

The film’s performances are pretty decent. Seyfried does as good as one could to hold up the film even though it’s this bad. Megan wasn’t horrifyingly bad but neither was she good. There was a scene where it’s a real big close up of her kissing another chick (YES!!!!).  The men in the audience hooted and cheered even though it was completely random and the director put it in as a a kind of apology for not giving up the real goods (no Megan Fox boobage). Brody was a pretty quirky character as a indie singer just trying to make it in the real world but no real screen time to make it good enough. His lip syncing was dreadful as well.

So if I had to give it a rating, I’d say a 3 out of 10 .
 
PS – The ARMY OF DARKNESS and EVIL DEAD references? They just worked against the film because it just reminded me of what a dark, horror comedy is supposed to be. Not this.

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