AVP Save Christmas

You’ve seen tons of people save Christmas from the nefarious schemes of various evildoers but never did you think an interstellar war between two alien species continuing to wage here on Earth would also be capable of saving Christmas, did you? Well, that’s exactly the scenario Ben Joseph of McSweeney’s imagined in his screenplay ALIEN VS. PREDATOR SAVE CHRISTMAS. Here’s a little taste of the yuletide warfare:

EXT. NIGHT THE CANDY CANE FOREST

(A red glow shines in the near distance. SANTA approaches it.)

SANTA: Rudolph? Is that you?

(PREDATOR decloaks, revealing the glow to be his targeting laser!)

SANTA: Gulp.

(PREDATOR fires, hitting an ALIEN right behind SANTA!)

SANTA: Maybe I can put you on the “Nice” list after all.

PREDATOR: Thanks, Santa. Also, I talk now.

Get more excerpts from this groundbreaking mash-up script HERE.