Kevin Costner’s Character Milestone Checklist:
- Daydreaming Corn Field Owner Who Hears Voice That Makes Him Build A Baseball Field – Check
- Tortured Army Lieutenant Who Taps Hot Native American Ass – Check
- Tortured Boozy Baseball Player Who’s Ultimately Redeemed By [Insert Plot Device Here] – Never Again
- Cowboy – Check
- Famous Cowboy – Check
- Historical Figure – Check
- Tortured Amphibious Human With Gills Who Sails Awesome Boat and Drinks Own Urine – Check
- Romantic Comedy Where I Get To Bang A Hot Piece of Ass Like Jennifer Aniston or Rene Russo – Check
- Ashton Kutcher Mentor – Check
- Mild-Mannered Guy With Psychotic Murderous Alter-Ego Personified By William Hurt – Check
- Gay Guy That’s Sure To Win Oscar – Pending
- Space Cowboy – Not stupid Clint Eastwood movie but kick ass movie with real cowboys in space.
- Pretentious, Possibly Self-Referential, Near Incomprehensible Indie That’ll Give Street Cred – Pending
The one in bold, of course, is covered by the upcoming thriller MR. BROOKS and its brand-spanking new poster can be found below. The film co-stars Dane Cook and Demi Moore and is set for release June 1st.