In March of this year came the oh so glorious news that SyFy was fashioning JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK…a fantasy for all of who want to see the real MTV cast members get masticated to grim death by a giant man-eating fish. Well, here we are nine months later with the cast reveal and first preview picture of the film.
With only a few pictured, JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK will star Tony Sirico, Paul Sorvino, Melissa Molinaro (below), Jack Scalia, Joey Fatone, Joey Russo, Audi Resendez and William Atherton, among others. Here’s a newly conjured synopsis:
Jersey Shore Shark Attack unfolds during the July Fourth weekend at – where else? — the Jersey Shore, where rare swarms of sharks are converging due to illegal underwater drilling. Now the angry sharks are on a rampage, devouring residents, and leaving it up to the locals to try and save the day.
Sirico is Captain Sallie, the wise veteran of boardwalk life and lore. Scalia is Moretti, former Guido beach bum and now police chief. Sorvino portrays the possibly corrupt Mayor and Atherton is the greedy developer Dolan, who wants to tear down the boardwalk to build a luxury resort where the Guidos will not be welcome. Vinny Guadagnino plays the on-scene reporter Conte and Joey Fatone appears as himself.
Not sure about you, but I’m still stunned Paul Sorvino is in this sumbitch. Joey Fatone I can see, but Paulie? Good grief. I will say though I do like seeing my man Atherton in the mix (the unmistakable Peck in GHOSTBUSTERS), playing a greedy landowner at that. Should be a damn good time!