C'mon Hollywood #180

Why does Hollywood insist on making certain people into big stars, despite a mostly negative public reaction to those stars? Never has that been more evident than with Dane Cook. He had some decent stand-up, but the guy isn’t funny on film, he has no screen presence and he’s completely incapable of carrying his own movie. Yet he somehow manages to star in big Hollywood productions with major Hollywood actresses. And of course, those movies are ultimate failures at the box office. But Hollywood doesn’t seem to care and the guy still manages to get one big role after another.

Maybe rather than slamming Dane Cook, I should actually write an article praising his agent. Seriously, this guy/gal has got to be the world’s best agent. They’re some kind of super-agent, the likes of which the world has never seen. Most actors that star in a single box-office bomb struggle to get work for years, but Dane Cook has never appeared in anything other than a bomb and he gets as much work as he can handle. How is that possible? Is Hollywood so desperate for a romantic, humorous leading man that they have to slum all the way down to Dane Cook? Whoever this guy’s agent is, I hope they’re getting a huge cut of his salary, because they deserve it.

Don’t blame him for taking films that have a horrible script. The guy should be grateful to be playing a tree in an off-Broadway play. So if a studio wants to throw millions at him to star in a feature film, of course he’s going to take it. He’d be an idiot not to. Even he knows that this can’t last forever. Eventually, Hollywood producers will catch on that he’s never had a decent hit and that his films are all but guaranteed to lose money. Until then, he’d be dumb to turn down any role. If someone offered him a role in a Mentos commercial, he should take it.

Lets forget for a second that Cook manages to get leading roles he has no business auditioning for, I don’t even like him in a supporting role. He was a distraction in DAN IN REAL LIFE and very pedestrian in MR. BROOKS. I don’t know what the guy is like in real life, maybe he’s a great guy, but on film, he’s obnoxious. It oozes out of him on the big screen and that could be one of the many reasons his films continue to fail. Plus, in every role, he always has this “why-am-I-here” look on his face. I don’t know Dane, we’re wondering the same thing.

I have nothing personal against Dane Cook. This is directed at Hollywood for continuing to try and push this guy in our faces. The public voices their opinions every time they choose to not see his films. How many more failures does this guy have to have before you stop giving him roles? Please, let the box office performance of GOOD LUCK CHUCK, EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH and the most recent MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRL be all the proof you need that Dane Cook will never be a box office draw.

C’mon Hollywood #180