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CW releases cast portraits for gritty Archie reboot Riverdale

I think I realized why I'm so fascinated by CW's new Archie reboot series, RIVERDALE. I think it's because this seems like a MadTV sketch come to life. "Ha, wouldn't it be funny if there was an Archie show, but it had MURDER and SEX and SUPERNATURAL SHIT in it?". We'd laugh (or probably not, since it's MadTV) and then move on. But, no, this is real life, and we have to now deal with it. And weirder still? The more I stare into the abyss of this seemingly terrible idea, the more the abyss stares back at me and says "Hey, maybe it might be alright?" I worry about the abyss's taste in shows.

Anyway the CW has sent official promo pics of the cast (which seem to be trying to evoke High School portraits). Let's have closer look:

First up is Archie himself. Looks about right, redhead and milquetoast:

Next is Jughead. A bit more "emo" than the original (and no hamburger in sight!) I think I've said it before, but honestly I'm digging the revamp of his classic crown hat. I think that's probably the only way you could do it:

And this is Betty, the blonde cheerleader:

And here's Veronica, the brunette rich socialite:

And last, but not least, Josie from the Josie and the Pussycats. I know internet nerds are raging that she's black and not a redhead, since the internet is often a heaping garbage fire. I say deal with it. Your whining isn't going to change anything (and I'm sure if it's cancelled, she'll be the least of this weird show's problems):

Either way, RIVERDALE will sugar, sugar honey on the CW January 26th, 2017 at 9 pm EST.

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Damion Damaske