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Dissecting Actress Famke Janssen

“Famke Janssen”

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There are plenty of hot Scream Queens working today—that much is a given. But hot Scream Queens that also star in big budget summer blockbusters? Or hot Scream Queens that tend to get even hotter with age? There’s only one like that who fits the bill: the incredibly beautiful Famke Janssen. That’s right folks, Janssen is one of those hotties who, like a fine wine, seems to get better with age… she also gets a steady flow of work in the genre and continues to pick cool and interesting projects, from the small screen (HEMLOCK GROVE) to the big screen (THE WOLVERINE) and then some! Not too shabby for a chick who made her start as a Bond girl. So with that, let’s dive deep inside the wonderful world of Famke Janssen!

BEST WORK

Buy THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL here!

Janssen raised eyebrows and made a name for herself starring opposite Pierce Brosnan as a Bond girl in GOLDENEYE and she’s been wreaking shit up ever since. Actually, I lied… the same year (1995) she also starred in a little Clive Barker project called LORD OF ILLUSION… not too shabby of a debut year, if I do say so myself. She then starred in the criminally underrated my-teacher-is-an-alien flick THE FACULTY, and was part of yet another eclectic cast when she took part as Geoffrey Rush’s power-hungry wife in the highly entertaining THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL REMAKE. All this great stuff… and it’s still the 90s!

Janssen then busted out with X-MEN and her role as Jean Grey returned again and again and again, and we’re all super grateful for it. Say what you will about the Bryan Singer comic book flicks, they paved the way for the comic book movies we have today. So there’s that. Janssen also starred in another highly underrated flick, 100 FEET… a little ghost story from director (and friend of the site) Eric Red and co-starring Michael Pare and John “The Arrow” Fallon. For those who enjoy tight little ghost stories, all within the confines of a single setting, then it’s definitely one to check out. And finally… the TAKEN series, as Liam Neeson’s ex-wife. I f*cking love these movies and I f*cking love Janssen in them.

WORST WORK

Buy HIDE AND SEEK here!

It pleases me to say that for a career that spans close to 20 years, Janssen only has a couple of “bad” flicks under her belt. She was in HIDE AND SEEK, with Dakota Fanning and Robert DeNiro. No fault to her, but f*ck that movie sucked. I pretty much hated every second of it, from beginning to end. And while her role as Jean Grey is iconic, X-MEN: THE LAST STAND was pretty horrendous of a movie. It’s not a good comic book movie, it’s not a good sequel (especially since X2 was so great), and let’s face it… they killed off Janssen. Not cool, guys… not cool!

And finally, and most recently, the Netflix Original series, HEMLOCK GROVE. Oh, how I hated HEMLOCK GROVE. I stuck through all 13 episodes and had to tear my face off through every excruciatingly painful minute of it. The story was lame, the episodes were boring, it tried to do too much too fast and didn’t know where to go once it got there, and I hated all the characters. Janssen played the rich kids hot mom, and she had her share of steamy sex scenes in it which I totally appreciated… but she also rocked this weird accent for no apparent reason at all, and her role was so one dimensional that even though she was sexy and sultry and evil… she was boring. Damn you, HEMLOCK GROVE! You tarnished Janssen’s almost-perfect record!

TRADEMARKS

Buy THE FACULTY here!

While I hated HEMLOCK GROVE, it did cater to showcasing what Janssen does best: sexy, sultry, powerful, fragile… and yet, there’s always some sort of underlying evil going on about her. Not to say that she’s notoriously a bad guy, in fact most her roles she’s the heroine, but there’s something behind those dark eyes that isn’t all rainbows and unicorns… which is what makes her so goddamn attractive. Well, that and the fact that she’s a total MILF and one of the hottest brunettes working in the business right now.

HIDDEN GEM

Buy DEEP RISING here!

One of my favorite monster movies of all time is also one of the most underrated flicks every made: Stephen Sommers’ DEEP RISING, starring the great Treat Williams and the lovely Famke Janssen. Think TITANIC meets CLOVERFIELD, except with more tentacles, more bad guys, a tougher hero (the toughest hero ever, actually), a hotter heroine, and just an all-around more entertaining good time. It’s hard to believe DEEP RISING isn’t heralded for its monstrous effects, it’s big-bang set pieces, or the fact that it’s DIE HARD on a boat with monsters and the delectably charming Treat f*cking Williams in the house. And yeah, Janssen is pretty goddamn good in it, too. If you haven’t seen it, you need to… right now!

NEXT PROJECT

Buy HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS here!

The great thing about a talented hottie like Janssen is that there is never a lack of work coming her way. In a few weeks, her role as the lead Witch in HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS debuts on DVD and Blu-ray… I’ve heard this flick is entertaining, but as I haven’t seen it yet, I couldn’t tell you if it’s worth the price of admission or not. Next month Janssen returns to theaters as Jean Grey in THE WOLVERINE, a flick that has many people foaming at the mouth, and let’s be honest… part of the draw and anticipation for that one is that Grey is returning to the WOLVERINE/X-MEN universe. Good stuff. Janssen also has THE BEING EXPERIENCE and A FIGHTING MAN scheduled for later this year… and then after that, who knows? A bunch of more great stuff will be on its way, no doubt.

OVERALL

Buy 100 FEET here!

There are a ton of Scream Queens working in Hollywood right now, but none as MILFy, talented, hot, or as interesting as the wonderfully attractive Famke Janssen. From GOLDENEYE to DEEP RISING, from TAKEN to X2, from THE FACULTY to THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL, from LORD OF ILLUSION to the surprisingly spooky 100 FEET where Janssen carries the entire movie on her own (more or less), Janssen has proved herself time and time again as a force to be reckoned with, rewarding audiences with each project she’s in with her brown-haired radiance and sultry sexiness that can’t be matched.

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Published by
Ammon Gilbert