Fat? Sleepy? Drunk? All the above? Don’t watch 3D!

As Dean Wormer once said, fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. That point may be especially more valid as TV manufacturer Samsung has released a new warning that people in “bad physical condition,” who “need sleep” and/or “have been drinking alcohol” may experience a number of adverse conditions including convulsions, loss of awareness and nausea. Other potential side-effects could include Parrot Fever, the dropsies, Wandering Womb, mange, The Vapors and lycanthropy.

Um, I hate to interject here but aside from fat insomniac drunks, who exactly is up watching lots of 3D TV? I mean, c’mon, that’s their target audience. Next thing you’ll be telling me they don’t want stoners to watch Adult Swim.

So where exactly are the warnings coming from? They showed up online at the Australia website for Samsung 3D TVs. They claim they got the information from owner manuals that were produced in the US. Samsung USA wasn’t exactly thrilled but released a statement saying, “When used properly and instructions and advisories are followed, 3D functions should not pose adverse health or safety risks.”

So next time you’re going to eat that last Ring Ding and chug a few shots of tequila before watching JONAS BROTHERS 3D, you might want to keep 911 on speed dial (or just get up off the couch and go for a jog).