Hooper’s Mortuary

Hey guys! Arrow here with a
horror tidbit from Cannes (where
I’m helping JoBlo cover the Festival for JoBlo.com).

I was privy to see 18 minutes of footage from
Tobe Hooper’s MORTUARY (produced by Echoe
Bride Entertainment).

The film is in Post Production right now for
a planned July 2005 release date. The presented footage consisted of scenes and
“Trailer-like” montages.

Here’s the Synopsis
for the uninitiated, straight off the back of the Promo Poster (which you see
on the right):

Synopsis:
The Doyle family moves to rural California for a fresh start and a new
business. The Fowler Brother’s Funeral Home, although long abandoned, now
belongs to them. The locals fear the place, and rumors of the Fowler family
legend never cease to die.

The Doyles’ soon discover that
something lurks in the vaults below their new home. Something so sinister that
the past residents – alive and dead- have no intention of leaving them alone.

My thoughts
on the footage:

Positive:

-I was wooed by the look of the film. The image had a grainy 16 mm like feel to it
(although I think it was shot on HD) while the tombstones/Goth statues filled
mortuary setting was deliciously dread filled. Now that’s a bleak looking opus!


-Slutty girls with big tits and small tops were plenty, that’s always a plus for
me!

-The reel showcased one
tight gore bit (a hand through the chest)


-Fine actress Denise Crosby echoed her role in Pet Semetary here
with creepiness and strong acting chops in tow.

-Young Stephanie Patton was a dead ringer for a young Danielle Harris in
Halloween 4. Ironically enough Patton’s role is named Jamie Doyle while
Harris’s was named Jamie Lloyd. Coincidence?

-Decrepit Zombies were
plenty and the practical makeup effects communicating them worked
(old school baby, old school)!

-The subtle use of CGI
(acting as black dust that the Zombies spit from their mouth to infect others)
rubbed me the right way.

-The lead teen Jonathan,
played by Dan Byrd, was fairly low-key in terms of his demeanor i.e.
potentially non-annoying and hopefully likeable.

Negative:

-The flick had a cheap feel to it at times.

– Some of the acting was “nail on a chalk board” grating, namely that brown haired
chick that told the back-story. Can you spell “over-acting”? SHE CAN!

-I hope there’s more than
the mortuary location in the film where I could see it becoming visually boring
after a while (it somewhat did, with just 18 minutes of it).

-98 Percent of the characters I
saw didn’t look too appealing, will I like these people?

–The dialogue was corny in
places. 

-You know those dumb,
grating and disposable teens that like to sneak into cemeteries to fornicate
(Just get a room guys!)?
Well they’re in this movie! Bugh…guess what happens to them?

It better be GORY!

Conclusion:
From these 18 minutes, Mortuary looked like a flick that "horror
borrowed" a lot in order to create its own genre concoction. You get your “ghost story”,
your “zombie opus” and your “possesion/infection” jamboree all in one. To
be honest, from what I saw, I’m not fully sold on it yet. The characters and
dialogue in particular didn’t crank my saw to buzz-saw. Having said that, seeing
scenes out of context always feel “off” to me. Hopefully Hooper will surprise me
when I tackle the whole thing. My expectations are low but I’ll see it!

NOTE: TOBE
HOOPER’S "MORTUARY" is NOT the same film as the planned TOBE HOOPER’S
"ZOMBIES" (which has kids rafting vs. the undead)