Necessary Evil: Creepy Clowns!

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Hello, my horror hombres! With the Halloween season now in full effect, I hope you enjoyed our last Necessary Evil that suggested a movie based on John Carpenter's remarks on Rob Zombie. For today, we've got another idea based on news stories that have been coming out across the country. I'm talking about all those Creepy Clown Sightings! I HATE clowns and the thought that some assholes are dressing up like them and lurking about near wooded areas really pisses me off! It also sounds like a real life horror movie, hence I was inspired to write the following...

IDEA: A horror film that looks to explain the random popping up of creepy clowns across the country. Let's call it Clownville USA!

OUTLINE: In the year of a Presidential election, the only other constant on the news is sightings of clowns in random residential areas. Many believe it to initially be some kind of prank, however more and more clowns keep popping up in different parts of the country. They are usually seen in and on the outskirts of the woods. Sometimes they are spotted near schools or playgrounds, trying to coax kids to come closer. More and more stories of random clowns continue to flood the news and many citizens begin to panic.

Why are the clowns here? What do they want? Are they from outer space? No one can pinpoint an exact answer and the clowns are showing no signs of lessening in numbers. Curfews are set and all types of clown costumes are banned from stores. Then, the abductions begin. People young and old start getting reported as missing. Authorities soon start to believe that the clowns are linked to the abductions.

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The clown problem has now become so huge, that someone actually asks both Presidential candidates about it during a debate! William Tharrington immediately replies that these clown attacks are a huge part of what's wrong with America and vows to catch them all and ship them off to Siberia. The other candidate, Harriet Sullivan, calmly assures the audience that she has just been informed that the clown sightings have been orchestrated by William Tharrington as some elaborate scheme to make it look like he is saving the country. She apparently has proof. William becomes enraged and gets up in Harriet's face. Security has to intervene to restrain both candidates. It's a circus!

On the night of the election, clowns begin emerging from the woods. They surround designated voting areas, mostly in Washington DC, causing many to become too afraid to vote. Then, one clown in a Bozo get-up has a bag thrown over his head and is snatched by a couple of secret service men. He is brought to some unknown enclosure in the woods. When the bag is removed, Bozo is face-to-face with Harriet. She thanks him for following through on their deal and hurting William's campaign, but is pissed now that the clowns are preventing people from voting for her. Shots suddenly ring out as all the secret service men are gunned down. Clowns emerge from the woods and form a circle around Bozo and Harriet. Bozo leans in close to her and says, "It has begun."

A mass broadcast is sent out online... from the clowns. The broadcast has carousel music playing in the background and shows Harriet Sullivan tied up and gagged. Sitting directly beside her is William Tharrington, also tied and gagged. The news coverage on this explodes! Bozo steps into view and is soon followed by an army of clowns that stand behind him. He tells America that they if they wish to have the country in the hands of either of the bound candidate clowns, then they might as well hand the keys to the White House over to ACTUAL clowns! The country has become too ridiculous and the time has come for Bozo and his huge army of followers to take control. If anyone tries to stop them, then Tharrington and Sullivan get the axe. "We are everywhere!" Bozo proclaims. "Our numbers continue to grow! You can either join us or become part of the new ground on which we stand! If this country has chosen to turn to lunacy, then only clowns shall walk it!

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WHY IT COULD WORK: This has a very timely feel, so it should definitely connect with audiences who could say "we were there" when all this insanity started happening. And I'm not just talking about the clowns, but the outlandish political environment that has grown from the two people running for President. Plus, clowns can be pretty damn scary and if the ones in this movie are handled with a creepy touch, it could lead to one very productive fright flick with a nice helping of satiric humor!

CHARACTERS: I think the clowns should be all unknowns, including Bozo. Don't want to take anything away from the creepy mystique that they possess. For the two inept Presidential candidates, it may be cool and funny to get Alec Baldwin and Kate McKinnon because they both do such a great job currently on Saturday Night Live.

CONCLUSION: Clowns are freakin scary! Clowns invading real life is even scarier! And I believe that horror movie fans would be into that! I mean, look at all the hype happening for the upcoming remake of Stephen King's IT. Clownville USA could end up like IT times a million! How's THAT for a frightening thought?!

Alright, would you be interested in taking a trip to Clownville USA? Can you see the making of a scary, satiric horror film? Or is this idea too damn wacky? Kindly blast them bullets below! And if you have any ideas that you think should be made into horror reality, let me know at [email protected].

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Extra Tidbit: What is the scariest clown movie you've ever seen?

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