Categories: Movie News

Hottie Recap

Bai Ling, whose outfits on the red carpet are legendary both by their decided lack of fabric and eccentricity rivaled only by Bjork, will be making an appearance on ABC’s polar-bear-having-tropical-island drama

Lost as a former lover of unofficial non-Others leader Jack Shephard. And not only did she bump uglies with the good doctor, she also apparently has

the coveted honor of being the saucy vixen who gave him the tattoo he bears on his shoulder, which affords him a certain dangerous, brooding presence that coupled with

his neurosurgeon credentials make him the ideal leader of plane crash victims being terrorized by local sociopaths on a supernatural island. She relates…

Crafty blogger “Codamon” recently uncovered the

severe depths of Photoshop re-sculpting Filipino actress Angelica Panganiban underwent for an upcoming calendar and, though we’ve never

heard of this actress, we still feel the manipulative deceit of the affront quite profoundly. To think that a healthily plump actress would allow such a gross distortion of reality

to cater to an impossible-to-achieve, media-fueled ideal of female beauty, well, it just warms our heart dearly. She understands that nobody wants to see a chubby normal

person on the cover of a magazine. They want an impossibly perfect model who’ll force young girls to work harder, mostly out of a crippling insecurity, to achieve an

impossible ideal…

Kate Bosworth isn’t letting the international stardom afforded her by the mega-budgeted (but fiscally responsible, goddammit!!), sufficiently successful, return-to-wacky-real-estate-
schemes SUPERMAN RETURNS put her off diving into the fractured psyche of a boozy, sex-crazed drug addict character – a staple of the indie circuit – as she’s recently

optioned the rights to Catherine Hanrahan’s “Lost Girls and Love Hotels”, as revealed by Cahterine on her MySpace blog. The novel revolves

around Margaret, an American who escapes her bitter past by traveling to Tokyo and working as an English specialist at Air-Pro Stewardess Training Institute, who every

night loses herself in the squalid sex and drug-loving underworld of the Tokyo nightlife. When visions of a missing American girl begin to haunt her and she plunges into an

affair with a mysterious gangster, she incites a chain of events that could lead to her ultimate demise…

We don’t know if this was part of the final cut shown in theaters or a deleted scene but apparently Richard Linklater’s rotoscoping adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s drug-fueled

odyssey, A SCANNER DARKLY, featured Winona Ryder displaying some rather plump, luscious cyberboobs. Considering rotoscoping involves painting animation over live

action, it could be logically assumed that Winona’s actual boobs were used as the model for the resulting cyberboobs so that, though indirectly, we were getting a peak at

her surprisingly immense knockers. However, we’ve learned that her boobage was a strictly digital recreation and not in any way modeled after Winona’s own surely equally

splendid cans…

Laura Linney is part of the very select group of Hollywood actresses who aren’t superstars by any stretch of the imagination but have been in such a diverse array of films

that they’ve garnered enough critical acclaim and awards recognition (either by being nominated or by winning) to elevate a film’s integrity and increase its profile enough be

incorporated into its marketing campaign along with a more namebrand co-star and who, miraculously, has avoided any type of scandal despite a career

spanning multiple decades. Basically, like the horny school slut on prom night, she’s a sure thing. She’ll deliver the goods. In more ways than one. And she’ll be doing so

on an upcoming HBO miniseries titled JOHN ADAMS

based, of course, on the famed American president and revolutionary…

We’ve established that we’ll post a photoshoot of Stacy Keibler’s we’ve never seen before whether we have any concrete news to accompany it or not. It’s our Xenu-given

right as operators of this site to have a blinding psychotic obsession with at least one celeb hottie that stands out above the rest and ours happens to be Stacy. Having

said that, today we actually do have concrete news to report on about our lovely wrestling diva princess. As per scoop overlord Michael Ausiello of

TVGuide.com, Stacy has seemingly managed to parlay her spunky,

charming Dancing With The Stars notoriety into a guest spot on lesser, ratings-challenged J.J. Abrams drama What About Brian as

the titular Brian’s new next door neighbor who, of course, causes a rift between him and his current girlfriend due to the fact that Stacy’s really, really, really, really, really,

ridiculously good-looking…

For the first time in as far as we can remember, we’ll be discussing actual film news related to Lindsay Lohan and, though it’s not a confirmed casting, we still don’t feel

entirely comfortable doing so. Anything regarding Linds recently has been such a maelstrom of gossip, we almost feel as though we’re betraying her by not discussing her

triumphant attempts at sobriety or in which exclusive night club’s bathroom she’s found herself without underwear, a dildo in her hand and a note at her side saying “Next

time, I’ll remember the taser.” As our primary objective is to cover movie & hottie news, however, we’ll forge ahead. It seems Underground cult horror director Dante

Tomaselli has been in talks with Linds about her possibly

starring in his upcoming horror thriller THE OCEAN…

Armed with only a profound love of clogging and a gut-wrenching tale of forbidden clog love titled POSSUM TROT CLOGGERS, struggling actress Julia Fowler gathered a

group of executives on the roof of a parking structure and, on a makeshift black floor alongside costumed back-up cloggers, pitched her clognum opus with a

delicate, precise and deeply poetic clog dance. We don’t know whether she succeeded in wooing the executives with the power of her clogs but we applaud her for

exploring a new frontier in alterna-pitching…

Last week’s mystery hottie was Brazilian supermodel Brenda Costa and this week’s hottie is HERE. Till next week, folks.

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Published by
Omar Aviles