In case you actually give a damn – and I can’t see why you would unless every single vapid character dies a slow, gruesome death of epic proportions (hey, maybe they will) – JERSEY SHORE MASSACRE is poised to hit the VOD circuit on August 26th. This, coming just 4 days after its apparent theatrical bow on the 22nd. Yes, news is slow today!
Starring Danielle Dallacco, Sal Governale, Richard Christy, Bigfoot (wtf?) and hey, what’s a gaggle of sleazy Jersey slags getting stabbed without Ron Jeremy – JERSEY SHORE MASSACRE is set in motion when:
A typical weekend down the shore takes a bizarre turn in the New Jersey Pine Barrens as six girls and five obnoxious fist-pumpers become the unsuspecting targets of a deranged killer. “
Sounds about right, though I think I’ll wait for the porn parody. But if you want to see it, JERSEY SHORE docks on VOD August 26th.