HORROR TEN SPOT: Top 10 Characters I Wish Stayed Alive

1- Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween 8)

In my personal opinion, this movie should have NEVER been made. H20 was the perfect ending to the Michael Myers saga. When I went to the theatres to see that movie, everyone clapped at the end. (Even the die hard Michael Myers’ fans were cheering.) They clapped because they thought it was finally over. So when Halloween: Resurrection came around, I was beyond upset. Everything that made H20 a success was taken away by the first ten minutes of Resurrection when Michael Myers kills Laurie on the rooftop of a mental institute. What the f*ck were the writers thinking?!

Did they actually think that fans of the series watched these movies over twenty years, just to see their heroine get killed “Drew Barrymore” style in a really awful sequel? After her death, there really was no point to continue the movie. Michael accomplished his goal. Why do the viewers have to sit there and be subject to an additional hour or so watching Michael Myers getting his ass kicked by Busta Rhymes? In my opinion, if you haven’t seen Resurrection, Don’t!

2- Jamie Kennedy (Scream 2)

Scream happens to be my favourite all-time scary movie, and Randy Meeks (played by the under-rated Jamie Kennedy) happens to be my favourite character from the movie. So you can imagine how I felt when this beloved film geek was stabbed to death in the back of a news van in the sequel. I didn’t even want to watch the rest of the movie after that point. I didn’t even care if the rest of them lived. F*ck ‘em! You know what really ticked me off though? The fact that he never got the girl! He didn’t even get to tell Sidney how he felt. It’s very “Pretty in Pink” if you ask me.

3- Heather Lagenkamp (Nightmare on Elm Street 3)

I never got why they killed Nancy in this sequel. If this film was the last in its series, then I would have got it. To me, Nancy and Freddy represented a physical yin-yang of good versus evil. After Nancy was killed, it didn’t really matter what the three other pointless sequels were about. Freddy gets resurrected; he kills a bunch of sleepy and horny teens, and then gets killed only to be resurrected in the next terrible sequel. (YAWN!) No wonder they brought Heather back for New Nightmare. They had to make up for those boring sequels.

4- Radha Mitchell (Pitch Black)

Who else was completely taken back when an alien scooped up Carolyn Fry from thin air? I NEVER would have guessed that she would have died considering both her and Vin Diesel were the leads in this 2000 space-horror flick. I was really disappointed, because she had this “Ellen Ripley” thing going on, and she was the absolute LAST person who I thought would have become alien food. You know what was even more surprising? The only brother in this movie actually lived!! (Yay!) Now that’s something you don’t see everyday.

5- Justin Long (Jeepers Creepers)

Most average moviegoers who have seen this sleeper hit really hated this movie. I, on the other hand really admired it. It was the first horror flick I had seen in a long time where I genuinely cared about both of the lead characters. I really wanted to see the sibling duo make it to the end. So when the final frame reveals the disturbing image of Darry’s eyes gouged out, I felt three things. I was pissed because the Creeper killed him. I was surprised because the writer didn’t give the audience the ending they wanted or expected, and I was scared shitless because I was home alone drunk and paranoid that The Creeper actually existed, and I was his next meal. (Yeah, one TOO many tequila shots that night!)

6- Ryan Philippe (I Know What You Did Last Summer)

This character may have been an Asshole with a capital ‘A,’ but he was the only one who I felt had any personality to him. Sure, he was the one that got the gang in trouble from the psychotic fisherman, but he had some of the best one liners I’ve ever heard in a slasher flick. (e.g. “You got a letter? I got RUN OVER!!”) But more importantly, he was BEYOND hot in that locker room sequence. (I think I must have rewound that scene at least 5 times per viewing.)

So when the fisherman eventually kills him, I was pissed. Not because I actually liked the asshole with the heart of gold, but because the only eye candy I was left with was from the not so talented Freddie Prinze Jr. who ALWAYS had his damn mouth open. (Dude, you can breathe through your nose too!!)

7- Bruce Bohne (Dawn of the Dead (remake))

I still ask myself why I liked this character so much. The only things the audience really gets to know about Andy, was that he was a sharp shooter who kicked ass in playing Chess. I think maybe it was his humorous rooftop messages he sent Ving Rhames that made me like him. Hell, I cared more about him than most of the other survivors stuck in the damn mall. So, when the hippie looking sharp shooter gets turned into a zombie, I couldn’t help but mutter, “Damn it!” under my breath. I commend the filmmaker for making me feel for a character who hardly had any lines. Most horror flicks have characters shooting their mouths off, and I usually don’t give a sh*t if they live or not.

8- Kris Lemche (Ginger Snaps)

There are two reasons why I really like this actor. 1) He’s a fellow Canadian. 2) His dry and sarcastic humor always comes through in everyone of his roles. Most people might know him as “God” from Joan of Arcadia, but I will always fondly remember him as Sam, the wise-cracking drug dealer from the werewolf flick, Ginger Snaps. When Ginger fully transforms into a werewolf and devours Jesse, I remember feeling really sad about the anti-hero’s demise. It was a damn shame too, because his character’s presence would have definitely made the inferior sequel a lot more watchable.

9- Harvey Keitel (From Dusk till Dawn)

Many may argue with me, but I thought Jacob (the priest who lost his faith) was the best character in this film. Sure, the Gecko Brothers and Sex Machine were interesting, but they weren’t the best. Jacob was just a man who was trying his hardest to protect his kids. He even had to rediscover his faith to protect them from the vampires. I also admired his character because he didn’t take any crap from the Gecko brothers, (Clooney and Tarantino) even when they had him and his family under hostage.

(Now that takes major balls!) I always find that vampire/zombie movies have the most well developed characters, because the filmmakers want the audience sitting on the edge of their seats praying that their favourite characters don’t get bit or scratched.

So when I saw Jacob get bit, I slumped in my seat and muttered profanities under my breath. (Yeah, I get a little too emotionally attached to characters sometimes.)

10- Devon Sawa (Final Destination 2)

I don’t know about you, but I absolutely hate it when writers just kill off an important character off-screen if they can’t explain why the actor isn’t returning to reprise their role. It’s like it’s their form of punishment towards the actor. I can just picture the writers thinking, ‘He thinks he’s too good to be in MY sequel?? (snort) Yeah, well I’ll show him!’ In Final Destination 2, the audience finds out that Alex (the main character from the previous film) was tragically killed….by a falling brick. The writers REALLY must have been pissed with Devon. Now anyone who has seen the first film realizes how insulting that is. Alex went through hell just to make it through the first film, and to have his character die from a brick is just plain stupid. Ironic, yes, but mostly stupid.