Categories: JoBlo Originals

Top 10 Zombie Kills!

Well, well, what do you know…The Walking Dead resurrects in only two damn days. You know what that means, right? Zombie action galore! It’s pretty astounding to think how far TWD has come since debuting in 2010, not just in terms of the technology and believable CG, but in the crazy character development as well. We’ve seen some gnarly shite go down in the past season or 2, no?

Anyway, in high anticipation of the walkers’ return, we urge y’all to get in the grisly, gruesome mood by reveling in what we’re calling our Favorite Zombie Kills. We stress favorite because by no means is this list exhaustive, that’s damn near impossible with only 10 coveted spots up for grabs. But trust us, we’ve included a little something for everyone. So sit back, crack a brew and enjoy this fine Friday by reliving our Top 10 Zombie Kills!

#1. BARBARA (NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD)

Well, since this entire list literally germinates from the OG, George A. Romero’s trailblazing THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, it’s with great deference and utter reverence that we salute the harrowing death of Barbara in the film as our #1 contender. Here’s Johnny, indeed! All bow down! With a shoestring budget and true independent spirit, Romero conducts his sly social commentary with a slick more-is-less moviemaking approach that somehow, almost 50 years later, still inspires countless imitations. The best!

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#2. CAPTAIN RHODES (DAY OF THE DEAD)

Dude, I still have no flying f*ck of a clue how Romero and crew achieved this practical effect…in 1985 no less. is it bonkers to think he single most impressively jarring, jaw-flooring, holy shite moment in any Romero zombie joint just might have to go to the way Captain Rhodes gets gorily ripped apart by a menagerie of undead ghouls in DAY OF THE DEAD? Seriously! We think not, as it holds up today, 30 years later, as a masterclass in zombie disembowelment!

#3. SCUZ (RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD)

While the sexy ass of Trash (Linnea Quigley) getting gang-eaten by a decrepit pack of rotting old men fresh from the grave surely has the most lasting effect – this despite not being very graphic in nature – I actually think the death of Scuz is a tad bit better! Granted, his character isn’t as memorable or consequential, but this is the first time we meet our talking, spinal-wagging half-corpse gal pal who, while demanding for more brains, informs us of being dead actually hurts. Brains brains, make the pain go away!

#4. ANYONE (DEAD ALIVE)

Take your f*cking pick! The whole of Peter Jackson’s exorbitant cartoon bloodbath DEAD ALIVE could be construed as one of our favorite Zombie Kills. Sheesh! In fact, we’ve used two visual examples from the movie here (one above, and one on the main page). Since it’s so hard to single one out, it’s the double-impact of seeing dude get his lower-body peeled to gory bone under a doorway, his intestines painting the floor, just before that chick catches a gnarly zombie-fist right through the back of her skull and out through her mouth. Epic!

#5. NOAH (THE WALKING DEAD)

Strike one up for the TV crowd, and specifically, the show that inspired this whole damn gory zombie bash to begin with: The Walking Dead. Now, I know we could have just as easily memorialized Dale’s death for the sheer emotional impact (loved that dude!), but as far as a visceral visual is concerned…no doubt about it, Noah’s demise earns the cake. Props to master FX man and showrunner Greg Nicotero for giving the fans of the show exactly what we pine for!

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#6. PAOLA (ZOMBIE 2)

Love it or loathe it, we can’t conduct a serious zombie kills list without the inclusion of at least one Italian splatter fest. Argento and Bava weren’t the hugest proponents of zombie joints, but damn was Lucio Fulci! His seminal grave-risers come in THE BEYOND, CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD, and of course, ZOMBIE (aka ZOMBIE 2), in which the maestro not only pits an underwater zombie against a shark, but as he so often does, has a zombie straight up gouge a wooden splinter plum the poor Paola’s eyeball…in semi-slow-mo!

#7. DON & ALICE (28 WEEKS LATER)

Man oh man. Poor bastard. Just when you thought a nice, touching, emotionally moving moment took place between Don and his wife Alice in 28 WEEKS LATER, the sick sumbitch rabidly attacks his better half with a loving double eye-gouge and ravenous kiss on the cheek. Ravenous, Robert Carlyle, see what we did there…that’s some sleight of hand shite! Really though, not a more heartbreaking moment you’ll find accompanied with such flesh-chomping!

#8. DAVID (SHAUN OF THE DEAD)

Come on now, from the moment he first appeared onscreen and opened his whiny little mouth, you and everyone else were counting down the seconds until daft old David got his f*cking torso eviscerated. And that he did, eventually, at the end of SHAUN OF THE DEAD. I can see it now, in the Winchester, Queen’s Don’t Stop Me Now on the juke, Shaun and his mates with pool cues in tow, hordes of dumb drooling corpses ready to advance. A dozen years on and the movie still kicks ass!

#9. DEPUTY CARLOS (PLANET TERROR)

Kind of sleeper here, as is PLANET TERROR itself when considering the never-ending litany of zombie flicks. But no doubt, one of the most unremittingly vicious zombie attacks we can recall comes when Deputy Carlos gets gorily brained to death by pair of avaricious ghouls. Coolest parts though? The presence of both Michael Biehn and Tom Savini (the latter’s death also a worthy one) – straight-up genre OGs – watching the titular star of Robert Rodriguez’s EL MARIACHI get chewed down to a sticky pile of syrup!

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10. VEGARD (DEAD SNOW)

There’s no goddamn shortage of frigid blood-spray in the hilarious romp of flick, DEAD SNOW, is there? I mean, as if Nazis weren’t odious enough, just horrific scum of the lowest order, here they shamble along as reanimated corpses looking to feast on warm flesh. Shite’s unfair! The best example of this? Poor Vegard gets his limbs gang-shredded apart – arm, leg, leg, arm – until he explodes into a geyser of gore for all his comrades to witness. But hey, better than his pal who gets his dick aggressively munched off!

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