Categories: JoBlo Originals

Top 12 Canadian Hotties

There are fireworks going off outside my window as I write this. Little kids are running wild up and down my street wearing soiled diapers and Team Canada jerseys. I couldn’t be more drunk if I filled my hot-tub with vodka and pretended I was Aquaman for the rest of the night. All this must only mean one thing – Monday is a holiday. To celebrate, I’ve gathered a dozen of the best ladies my country has to offer and wrapped them up in a pretty little package for you. Why twelve? I have no idea. Why are you still reading this?

1. Elisha Cuthbert (Calgary, Alberta)

She might not have Pam’s body or Rachel’s resume but there isn’t another actress on this list that demands my attention more than motherfuckin’ Kim Bauer yo! I pray to the Movie Gods every night that she finds another perfect role such as Danielle in THE GIRL NEXT DOOR. At the age of 23, she’s like the Lebron James of Canadian hotness. Presently dominating our dreams with her compact appearance and shy personality while the future of the country is resting on her….. shoulders? Give her the ball and get the fuck out of the way.

2. Rachel McAdams (London, Ontario)

Simply put, this woman has Hollywood by the balls right now. Absolutely stunning to look at and can act her ass off. She made me fall in love with a teen comedy (MEAN GIRLS), feel like a pussy while enjoying a chick-flick (THE NOTEBOOK), scared me a little (RED EYE), and held her own in one of my favourite comedies of the past ten years (THE WEDDING CRASHERS). And, I used to go to London once in a while to get shit-faced so chances are she pointed and threw stuff at me after I passed out at a bus stop. Sweet.

3. Pamela Anderson (Ladysmith, B.C.)

There’s not much I can really tell you about Pam that you don’t already know. She’s, arguably, the most famous woman in the world and has the BAYWATCH and V.I.P. ratings to prove it. Her trips to the big screen are more laughable than anything so she seems content with staying on TV as long as she can. I don’t care who she’s dating, her ditsy act was old ten years ago, and her boobs have been changed more than the oil in my truck. It doesn’t matter – the woman is an icon.

4. Evangeline Lilly (Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta)

I’ll never forget that first episode of LOST. Between the hard hitting action and gripping drama that network television fans had been waiting for, there was Eva, standing on the beach in her underwear with that “What the fuck just happened?” look on her face. Easily one of my favourite moments in television history. I can’t wait until she finally gets around to that giant pile of scripts on her desk and finds the leading theatrical roles she deserves.

5. Tricia Helfer (Donalda, Alberta)

Within one of the best shows on television sits one of the most underrated and hottest performances of any actress on that mythical planet called Earth. Before she was Number Six she was declared Supermodel of the World in 1992 and tried to cut her face off in C.S.I.: Crime Scene Investigation.

6. Kristen Kreuk (Vancouver, B.C.)

This half-Chinese, half-Dutch hottie helped make Superman cool again by steaming up Smallville in …..uh, SMALLVILLE. Her portrayal of Lana Lang has fanboys forgetting about the Man of Steel and fangirls swooning over the possibility of them hooking up. Her cameo as Fiona in EUROTRIP hasn’t led to many big screen appearances but something tells me her future isn’t going to be too shabby.

7. Mia Kirshner (Toronto, Ontario)

She made me sweat in EXOTICA, cracked me up in NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE, made me want to punch her by trying to kill President Palmer in 24, and reminded me of how awesome lesbians are in THE L WORD. Her subtle world domination will continue later this year by playing Elizabeth Short in Brian De Palma’s star powered, THE BLACK DAHLIA.

8. Neve Campbell (Guelph, Ontario)

Watching Jennifer Love Hewitt and Matthew Fox score huge television hits probably makes her wonder if she should go back to the tube for some of that PARTY OF FIVE alumni success. Or at least make another SCREAM movie. After basically taking all of 2005 off, Neve looks to get back in the spotlight with close to ten films either filming or announced this year.

9. Estella Warren (Peterborough, Ontario)

Best known for being the hottest human alive in Tim Burton’s PLANET OF THE APES, Estella hasn’t really found a breakout role yet. You’d think that picture on the left up there would be enough. She should bring that outfit and a giant water bottle to all her auditions. Keep an eye out for her in TAPHEPHOBIA, about the fear of being buried alive.

10. Emmanuelle Vaugier (Vancouver, B.C.)

Tons of television guest spots paid off when she got invited to the house of horrors in SAW 2 and then toyed with fanboy’s hearts in the Sci Fi channels adaptation of the comic book heroine, PAINKILLER JANE. Up next is a monster adventure called UNEARTHED from the director of DEAD & BREAKFAST, Matthew Leutwyler.

11. Natasha Henstridge (Springdale, Newfoundland)

After she was done with modelling, Nat has comprised a decent acting career highlighted by her role as Sil (and her clone, Eve) in the SPECIES franchise. Watch for her next year as she honours a Canadian hero with a role in RICK HANSON: HEART OF A DRAGON, the story of a paraplegic who rides his wheelchair through 34 countries to raise money for spinal-cord injury research.

12. Missy Peregrym (Montreal, Quebec)

Her athletic background and rock-hard body have landed her screen time with Jessica Alba in television’s DARK ANGEL and Halle Berry in CATWOMAN and she most recently made me remember why I love watching women’s gymnastics as the rebellious Haley in STICK IT.

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Published by
Jim Law